Posts Tagged ‘workout aholic’

cheese dip and workouts

April 4, 2016

I just had my yearly review. I’ve been anxious about it for a week now. So so so anxious. It went fine. Nothing unexpected happened or was said.

But the anxiousness leaves me hungry. I’m starving! Emotional hunger is so so real. I can’t believe how real it feels some times.

I know its not real because the only thing that would satisfy this hunger is cheese dip and chips. That’s all I can think about right now. It’s an hour and 10 minutes until my lunch break. I’ve got to figure a healthy way to curb this, but no resolution is coming to mind.

That’s a lie.

I just keep diverting my attention back to cheese dip.

I’ve got a very rigorous workout schedule planned for this week. I’m keenly aware of the fact that I’m pushing it to the point that I can’t lie to myself about the healthiness of it.

I’m rationalizing the fuck out of all of it! It’s insane.

I’ve got 6 crossfit classes planned. 2 of those are AM sessions. I need to add in some long rows after class too. One treadmill interval workout. And a bike ride or two. Also, going to the driving range with mitch… but that one barely counts.

See it’s not THAT crazy. Nah. It’s fine. I’ll be fine. I’ll be super sore by Wednesday, but don’t worry, I’ll eat plenty. :-\


October 30, 2015

Normally there’s a few days of hormonal catastrophe in my brain and body every month. Usually it manifests itself in a few ways, but always the same order. A day of a manic high and a day or two of deep sadness and disconnectedness. Everything in life sucks and should be changed. IMMEDIATELY. These are the days I cry in my cube and all my male co-workers are cringing and wondering what to do. I have written on my calendar before (because I can predict which day will be the worst – thank you 28 day oral contraceptive) to not make any decisions on this day. Just don’t. Because I would change everything. Job, living situation, relationships with people. This is the only time I argue with co-workers too… unwarranted… well, slightly warranted. I still need SOME provocation.

Anyway… this month I am too high on life to dip into something sad. Instead it manifested in anxiety. I had to calm my nerves about EVERYTHING. My schedule. My exercise routines. My diet. My lack of diet. My bank account. I had things planned for every day this week. I usually do this. And I like it this way. I’ll go out with friends. I’ll spend a little here. a little there. This is routine. I live fine this way. Basically, this is no different from normal. But I freaked out about how I was spending SO MUCH. AND EATING TOO MUCH. AND OMG I NEED A WORKOUT! And isn’t it time to put in a 60 day notice if I need to find a new place if I can’t secure the same rate for rent? I knew that come January my rent was going up by $200. This was FOR SURE a stress point. I hated the thought of moving. But I HATED the thought of spending SO MUCH MONEY ON MY RENT!

Tuesday: I got a great workout in. I decided last week I was going to start a new Strength training routine and some HIIT on the treadmill. And it was a fantastic workout. Kicked some serious ass. (still anxious) Then I showered and met up with my good friend for our annual haunted houses together. We met for drinks (ugh calories) first and he said, “Hey, I forgot I owe you some cash for that event you paid for last month.” OH YEAH! So not only did he buy my drinks, he bought me my haunted house entry fees for the night. SCORE! (still anxious)

Wednesday: I went home to cook up some lunch because a) fewer calories that way. b) less money that way. I came home to a note on my door that was offering a Thanksgiving special on my rent. If I re-upped my lease by November 15 I could secure my current rate. HALLELUJAH! (way less anxious!!!)

Thursday: I have a friend that I ALWAYS see scary movies with. And specifically we have watched every single paranormal activity together in theater. So naturally, we HAD to see the fourth one. Tradition is to get food and beer before hand. She can’t handle the scary without the beer. So I’m still anxious about eating too much, and drinking my calories, and paying for the whole night. She ended up inviting her new boyfriend…. who apparently wants to be her sugar daddy. Ha. Congrats to her, right? Anyway. She asked if I wanted to split a meal. YES! (half the calories, big big fan) A N D her boyfriend picked up the check!

After all that all I paid for all week was 1 movie ticket. I literally swiped my debit card once this week. Anxiety GONE! Everything felt all lined up this week. I like to think I work my calendar like Tetris. It’s probably some weird control issue I have. But also, we have a God that likes to play Tetris too. Sometimes things just line up so dang perfectly!

Happy Friday, all!

Early morning yoga sesh

August 5, 2015

Now, I’m a complete social yogi. I usually only do it if my friends are doing it. I’m not gonna savasana on my own or meditate or whatever in the center of my living room. Do people do that? But I do know I love hot yoga at this particular studio. So when plotting out my workouts for the week I decided it was time to cash in that 4-yoga-sessions package I bought last month.

First off, I stick out like a sore thumb:

  • I’m 165lbs… so next to these sticks… I clearly don’t belong.
  • I’m in a t-shirt… this is of course due to my weight… the cute sports bras looks great on their 115 (or less!!!) pound frame, but if *I* don’t even wanna look at this mid-section….??? You. are. welcome.
  • I don’t know the appropriate names of the poses… so I’m the only one “breaking my flow” to try to figure out what the heck I’m doing!!!! Some times I get an instructor that isn’t so jargon-y and I can follow just fine, but that’s what it takes at this point.
  • I don’t know how to flow with my breathing… its something I wanna get more in-tuned to. After all, this IS yoga.
  • My “practice” doesn’t include anything fancy so when they say “Now, you can stay here or if ____ is included in your practice….” That’s my cue to STAY THERE! So I do that for several deep breaths and occasionally if even that gets lengthy I’ll get into child’s pose…. while of course the rest of the class twists and turns and finesse-ly balances on 2 tiny points of contact.
  • I’m the one taking breaks to wipe off my face. It was a hot yoga class, which i absolutely love, but I’m sweating more than the rest of these people combined!!!!!! Another reason I need the t-shirt. More material to sop that shit up. Maybe I need wrists bands and head bands? lol I’d really stick out then! But how can anyone be expected to balance in any way if their hands keep sliding from the puddles of sweat that fall on the mat?!?! Is no one else having this issue?? I look around and these people are calm, cool, collected, and merely glistening…. I’ll never be that girl. Sigh.

But!!! I do have a few redeeming qualities that help me actually enjoy it:

  • I’m naturally pretty dang flexible.
  • I’ve got great posture and back alignment awareness.
  • My legs are strong (thank you crossfit)… so standing poses feel extremely strong and sturdy. Some of the only times I feel like I belong anywhere near this studio.
  • My core is strong… not expert yogi strong… not hand stand strong… but I can hang with reps and sets of whatever core workout we are incorporating.

Overall it was a great way to start my day. Love to get my sweat on.

about me

August 18, 2014

Well, as of today, August 18th, 2014, I am…. me. Well that’s a boring statement. But in my defense… insert today’s date and its always a true statement. So maybe its brilliant… like the sentence “I am.” 1000% true every time. I personally love these kind of statements. I think they are simply, beautifully brilliant.

Anyway! I’m 26… looking into the eyes of 27 in the next 6 weeks. I’m recently (as in exactly 2 months and 23 hours and 15 minutes) divorced. No kids. Young professional (well, at least I try to be).  Text addict. I love hash tags… and i’m a closet selfie taker… but I care too much about how I’m perceived to actually post them as often as I want. I wait for a good reason… like my niece “is the cutest thing ever!” or “look! the Eifle tower!”… I’ve never been to Paris, but you get the gist. I think that’s just the product of my generation… we are stuck between the last generation who will remember a time before internet and iphones and thinking that the only reason chef’s and food preparers present food so purposefully is so we can snap a pic and post it to our favorite social media site(s). I mean, why else would they care if what we are about to devour looks good?!?! Again, I resist this overwhelming urge as I do selfies. You. Are. Welcome.

I like to think I’m a pretty simple person, but the fact that I’m a woman betrays me right off the bat. I’m a St. Louis Cardinals fan that doesn’t currently own a tv… debating a purchase… so my cardinal stats are about a season (or two) behind. I have a puppy, well he’s 3-ish. I rescued him in May. He’s some sort of mutt, chaweenie breed. I just know him as a little black dog that loves to cuddle. I call him Sammie. More about him later.

I’m pretty dorky. I’m learning to let this side of me show… Not sure why i spent so long suppressing it… well, i have theories. More on this topic later. I have a food problem, but I workout (kind of a lot) to compensate. I’m a little bit of a workoutaholic. Again, more on that later.

I guess you are wondering what the point is. Welp, I am not sure. This blog will probably be a lot about me being newly divorced… and all that comes with it. I have a lot in my head. And I’m pretty internal, but my favorite way to process a situation is thru typing it out. I guess that’s the point. You are in the middle of my processing space… that is actually a little scary. Are you hooked yet? buhahahaha. oh. you aren’t? ooops. alrighty… well, maybe you’ll be bored enough (or procrastinating enough) next Monday morning to roll back around and see what ramblings I have decided to share.

Till then… hope the day goes well. Later!