Posts Tagged ‘weight loss challenge’

week ???

October 11, 2016

I have no idea where I am in this whole weight loss challenge. I do know that I’m JUST NOW under 160. That took for friggin ever! My birthday really threw in a rough kink. I swear it was the birthday that never ended. I had so many dinners and lunches and celebrations. Gah! It was awesome! But impossible to stay on track.

So the scale isn’t budging much, but holy cow! My clothes. The mirror. They don’t lie. INCHES INCHES INCHES. I feel amazing.

This is by far the longest I’ve been this consistent. I’ve meal prepped so much in the last 3 months. It’s insane.

For the first 5 or 6 weeks I didn’t struggle much with my binge eating. But after that it’s been so so tough. I know that a lot of that has to do with my birthday and making so many exceptions. Once you have the bad things in your veins that is ALL you want. And ALL you think about. And when the craving hits…. game over. It’s been rough.

Everything in the gym has improvemed. I ABSOLUTELY love it. The feeling is beyond what I ever expected.

I have good brain days and bad brain days. But the fact that I have a few skinny brain days cropping up is such an awesome gift and such a telling side effect.

So while I won’t make any money off this weight loss challenge, I’ve definitely made some great mental strides here and very evident physical ones. I wore a bathing suit this weekend (too cold to swim but perfect for poolside reading in the sun!) that I’ve put on twice this summer and promptly took off. I put it on this weekend and didn’t feel compelled to jump out of it! I even got a compliment from my brother. MY BROTHER! A brother compliment!!!! WHAT?!?!

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week 8

September 13, 2016

So you know how you have those days where you wake up feeling disgusting. Gross. Bloated. Fat as the bed you are in. You don’t want any one to look at you. You don’t want to deal with people. You kind of want to cry. Nothing fits. Nothing that fits looks good. And you know it will make the day even worse.

Well, today is THE OPPOSITE OF ONE OF THOSE DAYS.

I don’t know that I’ve ever had so many bad days to wake up with a skinny day? Is that a thing? Fat days, I get. But skinny days??? What??? Am I dehydrated? Did I not eat yesterday? No! I even hit my gallon of water yesterday. I did grab two workouts. One including some heavy lifting and the other some really intense cardio… Hmmm…. Maybe I DO need the combo. Drats. Lol. Also my diet was perfect yesterday. Lots of protein. And all day control.

Makes me want to recreate everything I did yesterday to recreate such a great moment this morning as I looked in the mirror. It just doesn’t happen often. It doesn’t. My poor ole body image. Its wrecked.

Anyway, that is all I had today. I’m starting week 8. Week 8 of 17. Geez. The big picture view is way harder than the daily view. I get so impatient. But today is a good day, and I’ll take that any day.

week 7

September 6, 2016

Beginning of week 7… I’m not optimistic about the numbers on the scale still. But still feel fantastic. I don’t think the big number I was aiming for in the beginning of this is feasible. I am doing my best and the numbers just aren’t happening. I’m not letting myself get too down over the numbers. The mirror is being good to me. So I’ll have to go with that. The big number is 30 lbs in 17 weeks. But now Hoping for 22? I don’t know. I’ve added heavier lifting and more cardio through the week. I’m interested in seeing what will come of that.

The consistency part is the best part about this whole thing. It really feels like a life style change this time.

I’m struggling a little bit not to binge since my vacation. I took time off of being super strict and my cravings are starting to wear me out. I gave last night. I snaked out on some chips and cheese dip. I didn’t eat it all tho. Whoa. I just realized that. I DIDN’T FINISH THE BAG OR THE TUB OF CHEESE!! Maybe even with the binge there is improvement!

I just have to push passed all the dang cravings. The break wasn’t worth how hard it is hitting it again.

So… to break or not to break next time?

It’s either go insane not taking a cheat or go insane after a cheat. What’s easier? What is better for me long term?

I’ll have to stick with where my cheating was what I was eating and not the amount I was eating. I was cheating but keeping the calorie count where it needed to be. Maybe that’s the ticket. I’ll try that again this week.

I don’t know if you can tell, but I’m trying to talk myself into a better brain space here. Fake it til I make it, right?? Because really I do feel good about all this. I just hoped that my best would look a bit better than this. Let’s see what week 7 looks like. I won’t have numbers to post or compare because I’ve put my scale up. But lets see where my brain is later this week.

week 6

September 2, 2016

Being on vacation obviously makes a diet impossible. And actually, like most people, I took a vacation from dieting too.

I spent a few days resisting the extra calories, but by day 3 I was in full vacation mode. And I’m glad I loosened up a bit. I had a blast!!!!!! The ultimate Maine experience!

  • whale watching
  • sailing
  • kayaking
  • hiking
  • lobster and blueberry pie eatin!

So much fun with two girlfriends from college that I got to be extremely goofy with. I got the BEST pics. So so so much fun.

I needed to be with people who made me loosen up on the calorie front and cash front. I’m so cheap!

And the whole trip, with airfair and food and entertainment, and other travel expenses came out to just over $1000… And I haven’t vacationed in 2.5 years! So I feel pretty good about all that.

As far as the diet is concerned I have put my scale away. I’m going to continue to prep food, make healthy decisions, up my cardo, and add a few focused strength cycles. I feel great! And I shouldn’t let the scale dictate my mood. So for at least a few more weeks the scale is up on top of my fridge way back in the back. I not only need a step stool, but I also have to climb on top of my counters before I can reach it. So! Here’s to chipping away at the ole body!!!

And a noteworthy event: I’m in new jeans and they are a size down!!!!!!!!!!!

Happy friday all!

week 5

August 23, 2016

I’m prepped again. I can’t believe it. 5 weeks in a row. The most consistent I’ve been ever! No exaggeration. I’m doing really really well.

This week I prepped something different. A bit more carbs but not too bad really. I riced up 4 heads of cauliflower and made fried rice. It’s so yummy. Had some for dinner last night. I really enjoy faking myself out on eating starchier things. It’s so so satisfying. LOL. Makes me laugh because it’s so danged typical of a binge eater.

The number on the scale is definitely going slow, but I took my measurements this weekend. I’ve lost over an inch in my hips, 2 at the belly, and over an inch at my waist.

Can’t argue those numbers. I feel great.

I go on vacation this weekend, not sure how I’ll do… Not sure I have much of a plan except I will take plenty of protein bars to be ready with. We are going to go hiking a few days and then spend a few days in the city. So at least it won’t all just be eating. Some sweat too.

I know I’ll be eating out a lot… and that scares me. I know me. I can gain everything I’ve spent 4 weeks losing in 1 week. Sigh. Kind of nervous. But I also want to have fun and not feel like a prude in the calorie department when I’m out with my friends.

We’ll see how it goes.

Week 2

August 1, 2016

Week 1 went well enough. There were several events that I blew the diet. But I worked out 6 days out of 7. I’m really going to have to learn how to keep my social life and not over do it. It’ll take practice. I’m up for the challenge. 

I’m more than prepared for this week. I prepped every meal for the entire week yesterday. Took about 3 and half hours if you include the grocery trip. 1200 calories every day of mostly clean and high quality food. The most I’ll have to do is grill some shrimp for a few dinners to throw in with my spaghetti squash. But that takes no time at all!

I’m proud and pumped. Ready to kick week 2’s ass!

BAM!!

week 1

July 26, 2016

I keep getting that feeling in my forearms today. That rejected feeling. It kind of moves in a swirling pattern. I don’t know why my emotions can’t recover. They just plain can’t. I have great moments. Moments I don’t think about the sadness. And moments where I’m enjoying the now and the people around me. But this cloud is hovering still.

I’m starting a new weight loss journey today. Something a bit more focused than the moderation i’ve been doing lately. I mean, i’ve been doing moderate extremely well. I was very forgiving of myself. I had pizza and cheese dip and beer. But i’d also prep food for several days of clean eating.

I need more tho. It’s not enough. It’s time to get to my goal. It truly is. I’ve spent 7 years now sitting in a better position and in better health than previously but it’s time to take it all the way. Take it to the ideal. To my ideal.

I’ve come into an interesting situation. I have a person in my life that has seen my struggle for years. My day to day battle with emotional eating and working out a shit ton. And always coming up even. They have made me an offer I ABSOLUTELY CANNOT REFUSE.

If I front $200 then in 17 weeks time if I lose 30 pounds I will receive $1000. I think it’s brilliant. I need to lose 1.8 pounds per week to do this. I have to be consistent for 3 full months. I’m dreading all those binge-ful moments where I have to confront so many demons versus literally stuffing them down with food. I’m scared that this motivation won’t be enough. I’m scared.

But I think if I remain patient with myself while also having a sense of urgency with each food decision I make then I can do this. If I don’t do it this time then I can’t see myself ever doing it. I work really hard to always go backwards. Really hard. It’s quite depressing what I could’ve accomplished with all that effort without the backsliding.

I’m going to try to do this. Week 1 starts today. Each Monday in my calendar has a new number that I should weigh that day if I want to stay on track. My hope is that the beginning goes a bit quicker than the pace I’ve set out so that towards the end, when I’m down to those vanity pounds, I can put the same kind of effort in with enough results to make it.

So while I’m really sad and feeling very refected today by the world I’m also hopeful. I’m also grateful for a focus. Let’s see what happens.

7/26/16 167.8lbs