Posts Tagged ‘std’


August 25, 2015

It’s amazing what adding two photos, a longer descriptions, and giving a little love to a few photos will do for you on fetlife.

One picture is of my face… sort of. Half of my face super close up. This is, of course, in hopes to not make myself too recognizable, but show off my beautiful face 🙂 (Hey, I have terrible body issues, but ain’t nothing wrong with this mug!) And the second is of my body… Shorts and a black tank top with the phone strategically placed over my face. Now, if guys respond I won’t feel fake about having to prove to myself I have a worthy body. It’s out there for them to see BEFORE they message, or respond. Phew!

I took off the “newb” and added what I’m truly looking for. I know what I want. So… I took ownership of it.

I’ve gotten a few responses. It’s fairly easy to weed out the guys that claim Dom and the guys that are the real deal.

The posers:

  • They want nudes, like, yesterday. Um… excuse me? I just “met” you. I may be kink… but that does not make me easy. Truth be told, I don’t know how my willingness is tied to my body image… I’m not gonna say I wouldn’t be all about some nude selfies if I thought I could rock these stretch marks. LOL. BUT STILL… have some respect. Show interest in my heart and mind because even if it’s a play relationship it still is A RELATIONSHIP of sorts. The d/s bond is fucking amazing… and I need to see that you value that too. It starts in conversation one.
  • They want to clear the air with sex. “It’s been so long that it is probably necessary for your well being that we start that way.” WHAT. :-\ Don’t make me (sarcastic) laugh. If I thought you couldn’t control yourself, we are not playing together EVER. No matter how long it’s been. What this is code for is that this isn’t a Dom. It’s a man that likes it rough. A man that just wants sex and doesn’t care who he gets it from. Again… this is SUPPOSED to be a relationship. There’s give and take to it. I’m not going to be a random place holder. That only hurts my heart. Been there. Done that. And done WITH that.
  • Talking about sex on the first meet up!!? No. Having a play date on the first day I see you in person?? No. No. No. There are exceptions to this… but it’s not what I’m looking for.
  • They talk about condoms right off the bat. “I don’t do gloves.” Well, actually…. “Yes, I am on birth control.” But 1) I REALLY REALLY don’t want a kid 2) I DON’T KNOW YOU! 3) The latest stat is 1 out of every 3 people has some sort of STD/STI…. Let’s take our time here, k? K. In fact. Why aren’t YOU more worried? I don’t mind proving my clean bill of health, and I can expect the same.

The more legitimate ones will start with questions about my preferences. About my expectations. About my hopes and dreams and future aspirations that have nothing to do with my body or what my body can do for them. They ask about my experiences in the community. How I got to where I am today. Why this is what I want. They genuinely want to know what they are walking into. They know that my weaknesses will be their responsibility. They know that I’m entrusting them with me and my safely. They have a full rounded perspective of what this means. And they cannot begin to tell you the appreciation that much trust gives them. They know how much they will be asking of me.

I’m pretty pumped about the possibility of 2 of them. One in particular. But more on him later.

Here’s to a better week than last!