Posts Tagged ‘siblings’

thanksgiving 2016

December 20, 2016

So thanksgiving was coming up and I was really dreading it. It’s just not the same since 1) I’ve been working for a retail company and 2) my parent’s split up. Our family doesn’t have a home base anymore, ya know? So plans don’t come together well at all.

My mom decided to take her vacation with her fiance during that week because last year was so disastrous. I don’t blame her one bit. My 2 oldest brothers and my sister have their families that they can build plans around. And my dad? He always crashes some poor neighbor’s thanksgiving. That left me and my little brother all orphaned.

On top of that I was on-call and I only got that Thursday off from work. Nothing seemed to be shaping up into a traditional holiday. I was sad over it.

Less than a week to thanksgiving I talk to my sister and find out she plans on being in my area so that her son’s father can have him for the week. This means she’d be staying with me for several days! So I called my little brother and asked if he’d like to do a meal at my place.

My place = 1 bedroom apartment with no place for even a dining room table. But that didn’t mean we couldn’t all hang out and eat awkwardly off my coffee table together!

The night before my sister tells me she’s running a day late… You heard me. Lol… a full day late. Instead of coming in Wednesday afternoon she had to take advantage of an opportunity I don’t blame her for. So she’ll be there around 3pm on Thanksgiving day. Anyway, Wednesday night my little brother comes over to help cook.

Actually he ended up being the bartender while I baked and prepped. It was a lot of fun. After we consumed a few eggnog cocktails he wanted to show off his new car. Responsible order, I know… But the cocktails were so involved we didn’t have much before heading out. SWEAR! As we round a few blocks we decide to go to my favorite and closest bar. We had a few beers.

Me and my little brother have gotten so close in the last 3 years. We are both in the same area. We’ve both had a few hard times. I guess that makes for some good bonding fodder. We talk about really in depth things. Family things. Significant other things. Past things. Future things. And doing it over a few beers is ALWAYS more productive when you just kind of ramble and offshoot from every topic that keeps rolling in. I had the best time.

The next day he came over early. Cooked me breakfast. And we spent the rest of the day watching movies, drinking beer, cooking, and anticipating my sister’s (and her 4 month old’s) arrival.

Over all it was a fantastic few days. I didn’t realize how much fun it was being the host of big holiday. As in, being in charge of the cooking. It was so much fun! We didn’t do a whole lot of traditional stuff, but it was special none-the-less.

I’m glad I could offer my siblings a place to come through a holiday that use to be so full of such a solid family. It’s not like it use to be… but I see new traditions forming for the future 🙂

Advertisements

my sister: the rock star

June 13, 2016

So, I’m in Louisiana with my sister this week. She is 39 weeks pregnant and ready to dispense this child at any second.

I honestly don’t know how she does the things that she does. She is a rock star. And not just the fact that at 39 weeks pregnant and counting she is still running 2 miles a day. Not just because of where she got in her career at such a young age. And not just because the awesome humans she is raising. She just has a way of dealing with life that is so admirable to me.

My niece is 4. And the biggest diva. She’s both demon and angel within the same breath. To say she is a bit difficult is an understatement. So sweet tho! She’s a little cuddle bug. She’s full of random “I love you”s and excitement just at the sight of you coming in the door. She has such a big heart. She’s sassy and sure. She has life all figured out. If these darn adults could just get out of her way!

And my nephew… He’s 10. He looooves video games. He’s so so smart. He is so sensitive too. He is just like I was. Except his feelings are closer to the surface. I was the kid that didn’t participate because I was terrified at embarrassing myself. And when I did embarrass myself I’d clam up. This kid visibly holds back tears. I know exactly how he feels. And I can’t wait for him to figure out what I have in my lifetime. But it’s his own to figure out. One day he’ll realize every one has fears. Every one has insecurities. And its okay to mess up. It’s okay to not know what you are doing. It’s okay. He’ll get there. Just hate that it’ll take him more than 20 years to get there. He’ll get there. Don’t you wish our wisdom was easier accepted by those that haven’t taken our path yet? But we humans don’t work that way. We are too curious. We aren’t satisfied with other’s experiences and outcomes. We have to trial and error all on our own. He’ll get there.

I love when he is having a good time. His smile is beautiful. He’s a handsome boy already, but when he smiles it changes his whole face and it’s just beyond this world adorable and lovely. I just love it. This kid. He creates such good emotion in me that it hurts from bursting at the seams.

Back to my sister. She’s amazing. She puts up with so much judgment from people and family that it makes me sick. But she just works it. I don’t know how she ignores it. My sensitive soul would have me hiding in the corner… no hiding under the rock in the corner. Or  moving to Alaska. But she just proves to every one how inadequate they are and how rock star she is. She conquers everything life hands her.

She has/does the same fuck ups the rest of us have had and done. She gambles the same way the rest of us do with our decisions. But life always gave her the hardest out comes. She just kind of gathers them all up and adds them to her trophy case. I’ll always look up to her for how she handles things.

I’ve been here a week and I want to tear my eyes out because of the kids and the noise and the activity going on. I love them, but why do we have to have cartoons, video games, and noisy toys all going on at once?!?! And this is her life.

Maybe one day I’ll be as cool as her. But I’m not holding my breath for it!

xmas w/ the fam

December 30, 2015

Christmas went way better than I expected it would. You know, when your expectations are way up here you are usually disappointed?

Well, my expectations took a nose dive after being so upset with my brother. Then my mom announced she was bringing her fiance. A few things to note: 1) the brother I was upset with hadn’t met him yet, him or his wife, 2) my dad was also coming to the event. He also hadn’t met this new guy. So this brings expectations even lower in anticipation of all the awkwardness. I am actually really happy he decided to brave this situation. This meeting is well overdue.

Then to lower it as much as it could possibly be lowered my dad gets all huffy and decides that if mom is bringing her significant other then so will he. Other note worthy facts: 1) his girlfriend is a narcotics addict that has been to prison recently and now lives with my father and 2) She is younger than me. BLEH!

No more fucks could possibly be given. So… me and A got in my car and headed that way. we made a pit stop for beer. A lot of beer. I’ve never known a better day for some day drinking. I even thought in honor of my dad’s GF that we should all start the whole day out with some pills… just, you know, whatever she had on her. (Bad joke, I know. No, I’m not weirded out at all by a younger-than-me, ex-con dating my father.)

We get there… and in true addict form, my dad’s GF bailed. So, there was one thing that could’ve gone worse. I watched as my mom introduced her fiance (my dad has no clue they are engaged… I don’t even think he knows they live together). Everyone was very… friendly.

Me and A were already 2 beers in upon arrival – pre lunch… we were doing great! We pretty much handed out the beer like breath mints to all my siblings… Can someone make popcorn??

Just kidding… there was never a show to be entertained by. I knew my family was too passive aggressive for that. What else can we smooth under that rug in the front room?? We made it through lunch and gift exchange. Mom and her fiance left. Soon after my dad left. Us kids went back to the liquor store and got round two. We sat on his patio (because in Arkansas it was in the 70s!) and watched the boys smoke cigars.

Me and A took our tipsy selves back to his place that evening. Feeling good and grateful that it didn’t get any worse. And before I knew it we were celebrating the Christmas end in a party for 2 🙂

merry christmas eve eve!

December 23, 2015

This season has taken a dramatic 180! Just going thru my post I see this roller coaster tho. What a girl! Talk about emotion whip lash!

I was so upset last week. Christmas plans were crumbling at the seems. I’ve never been so upset with a sibling…. well, that might not be true. Sibling hate burns more than any other burn I’ve experienced. But sibling love doesn’t have a whole lot of rivals either.

For the last few days I’ve been able to host my sister and her kids. It’s so much fun to get to spend time with them. Me and my sister can cut up and we are laughing and no older than 10. giggling at nothing and everything. Sometimes there aren’t even words and we break out in a laugh in unison.

This is what this time of year is all about. While I’m still pretty annoyed with my brother… I’m sure when we do our gift exchange Saturday it’ll be enjoyable. For all of 4 hours while I’m there anyway. I’m being a tad bit vindictive this year. Which normally is NOT like me at all. But I’m posting as many pics with my sister and niece and nephew and my mom so that when my brother and sister in law browse Facebook they get envious of all my family time. It’s pretty immature, but… so. :p <— just to clarify that’s a mean tongue stick out not a cute smiley tone stick out.

I had a gift exchange with my girlfriends on Monday night. Wow, they did a great job! I felt like I needed to go out and upgrade everything I got them! Next year… it’s on. I’m cranking it up a notch!

This evening’s plans consist of Star Wars at the theater with my family and A. Then friends and family watching Nightmare Before Christmas while we play some games at my place.

I wish I didn’t have to work this week, but I don’t mind staying up with friends and family and sleeping at work!

A will be here when I get off of work today and I cannot wait to hug his neck!

Moving day

May 4, 2015

“Is it okay if I move in with Jeff?”

“Um… Jeff? My ex, Jeff?”

“Yeah. Just wanted to check with you. I already asked him. He’s cool with it.”

“Um…”

“I don’t have money. I plan on getting a job after graduation. But right now I can’t afford an apartment. And all my fraternity brothers are headed out of town for the summer. No one is sticking around for me to room with.”

“I mean…. If you have no other option. I kind of hate that. It hurts my feelings. I understand the practicality of it all. I’m a rational person, but could you keep looking for other options?”

“Well, if it hurts your feelings then I’ll make something else work.”

“Thanks, bro. I appreciate it.”

2 months later…

“Hey, sis. I need some man power today. Think you could help me move?”

“Are you serious? I can do it. But would like you to be mindful about requests like that in the future. It’s not easy moving my brother to my old house. With my ex.”

“WOW. Sorry that was really inconsiderate of me.”

Sigh… “Just think about it in the future. I’ll be there in an hour.”

IS HE KIDDING AT ALL! NOT AT ALL! What from that first conversation makes him ‘not even think about that’. Do I NOT look human? Do I look like a robot with no feelings? Because that is my only explaination for being so disregarded. BY MY OWN FAMILY!

I really, truly don’t feel like a push over. I just really wanted to be able to help him. But… I don’t know. I’m constantly conflicted when it comes to my family and their current relationship with my ex. But what can I do if that is what they choose? I can only say so much. I don’t think a little consideration from a sibling/parent is too much to ask. I really really don’t.

I didn’t have any other plans that day. I happen to have gotten all my chores out of the way that particular Sunday. It kind of worked out perfectly… except for his new address. I wanted to be able to help him. To be a good sister about it… I’m nice like that. “Nice.” It’s almost a bad word these days, right? Can’t be nice if you are looking out for yourself? I like nice. I like being nice. I like the fact that people know they can count on me. I won’t stop doing that because somewhere along the lines someone takes advantage of me without even realizing it.

He thinks it is temporary… He said he only needed a place to be for a month, but even if he got a job today he wouldn’t have his first paycheck for another 4 weeks. And I doubt his first paycheck will be enough to cover the first month of rent and all deposits… He’ll be there all summer and beyond… watch. I’m calling it now.

It’s actually a funny situation… if you aren’t me.

At least it was a good workout. Lots of sweating on a beautiful day. I like feeling productive. <– how’s that for silver lining.