Posts Tagged ‘rules’

weekend with Andy

October 14, 2015

What an incredible weekend! Everything I felt for Andy before is only intensified. I CANNOT get enough. I dont’ think we spent a total of 20 seconds without touching each other in some form or fashion.

Everything was amazing from snuggling on the couch watching Star Wars to hiking and chilling at the bar with a few of my friends from out of town.

As we were cuddling on Saturday afternoon on my couch I had an overwhelming urge to body worship this man. I’ve NEVER body worshiped anyone or felt this urge before. I wanted to kiss every single spot on this man’s body. Not just to cover him, but to appreciate him. I didn’t ever say this, nor did I fully act on it, but I still can’t get over the sentiment and how powerful an urge it was. Maybe because Sir has been immersing me so much in my submission lately that it is a normal progression to feel. That my submissive side is being triggered by life in general. Even with someone I don’t have a d/s relationship with. This urge was so intense. I wonder if I could do this for him some day…. I kind of wish I would’ve just gone with it. I should’ve.

I am a big fan of The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. I believe this book has some great points about how we feel loved and instinctively show love. I think a lot of couples are not missing the amount of love it takes to stay together and flourish, but I do believe that there can be a huge displacement of how we show love versus how our partners feel loved. I feel like Andy’s natural way of showing how he cares, by using his words and touch, is 100% compatible with how my “love tank” is filled up. My love languages are words of affirmation and physical touch. Andy is quick to compliment. Quick to verbalize his feelings for me, and like I mentioned above we were constantly touching. I couldn’t have felt more for him if I tried! I know its early and feelings are always butterflies and rainbows at this stage… but I haven’t felt this complete in a long long long long time.

Sir did give me a few rules for the weekend. 1) No fucking in the ass. 2) He wasn’t allowed to cum inside me – in any of me.

This was surprisingly difficult to do. I had to tell Andy the rules, because there is no way I could’ve done that alone. We followed the rules successfully! (I forgot how many towels you can go thru with the pull out method. Ha!) But we managed and it didn’t detract from any of it. The sex was amazing. All of it. Every time. Every moment. I don’t get why having rules turns me on. I don’t understand this at all. But having tasks… putting things on my to-do (and to-don’t) list with Andy… only made me hotter!

Andy LOVED the lingerie. He mentioned it several times over the weekend how much he enjoyed it. “Have to send him a thank you note!” That one made me giggle. He’s so easy going. And open about everything. I asked him again about how he felt about our situation… about me and Sir… to see if any body language betrayed what he was saying. Everything he said felt honest and understanding. I can hardly believe how cool he is being about it.

He left on Sunday afternoon and my feels are still tingling like crazy. I’m loving missing him and longing for him. Feels amazing. I love the “I miss you” texts and full blown conversations about just wanting to be together… I love all of it. I know at some point this longing will become painful and urgent, but right now I’m just basking in the fact that I actually feel this way about someone and that HE DOES TOO!

just for me

September 22, 2015
I was having a particularly stressful day last Wednesday. I mentioned this to Sir T. He immediately sprung into action. He came over after work. We had a early dinner and evening in. It was unexpected and very sweet.
****side note****
When I know we are seeing each other I have a check list of primping. Whether it’s shaving, picking out an outfit, a shower, painting my nails. The usual primp stuff. After all, it’s in the rules… but surely there is some leeway for spontaneous plans? I don’t know yet. I’m not sure what his expectations are in certain things. I’m actually excited to figure all this out. I am nervous/anxious/excited to see what he would do if I slip or slack on a few rules for any reason.
So far, he has proven to be a reasonable and gracious man. He is allowing me time to learn. But I’m almost tempted to push the lines a little. What will his reaction be? What will my punishments be? What will his eyes look like?
Oh, the facial expressions. He has that Dom switch. The switch that turns a man from a man to a dom. That look in the eyes. The demeanor. It excites me to think about!!
*******************
Anyway, the point is. He came over to pamper me. The focus was on me that evening. He chose to take that on himself. He chose to give that to me. I feel honored and lucky.
After that night I felt more like his. So far we haven’t made anything official. A lot of new things. A lot of tasks. A lot of temperature taking. But nothing official.
Every day… “Are you still having fun?” I know he knows that is important. With a simple question I can tell, he knows not to take me for granted. I like it.

respect

September 18, 2015

After my initial meeting with Sir T, I felt pretty comfortable around him. I mean… there is still a level of this-guy-knows-more-than-i-do-so-i-might-tip-toe-for-a-bit, but I feel like I can ask him things. I’m okay with not knowing things and getting him to explain it to me.

He sent me a list of rules. Not a contract. Just a list of things he expects. The top 3 (he calls them The Golden Three) are basically about letting him be my better half. Letting him know what is best for me. Trusting him. And always putting his happiness in front of my own because he in turn does the same for me. Both of us keeping each other’s happiness first.

I don’t have many reservations with him at all. Like with MrMcCoy… who had red flags coming out the ying yang….. Even tho that physical attraction isn’t there there is still a connection of respect that I like. I like that level of respect I have for him. I don’t have that for everyone. I didn’t realize this was the case until recently. It was a hard truth about myself to admit.

Why am I so quick to trust yet so stingy with my respect? I think a big part of my marriage and relationship with my ex husband was that neither one of us fully respected each other. Why is that? I can’t really come up with the answer.

Does it come from a place of condescension? I kind of think it might. And I hate that. I like to think that I’m a humble person. And I am. Aren’t I? But do I just like to think that because humility is a desired trait? I don’t really feel like I think I’m better than others… but I digress.

Sir T has already gotten a good feel on how my mind operates. I don’t know how he picks up so much with so little. He not only observes well, but he is quick to make adjustments accordingly. This is so important for someone that will be taking the lead – in the bedroom or out.

He always asks for my opinions. He always checks in on me about how I feel about things and if I’m still having fun. lol. It’s almost weird having him ask.

One of his rules for when we spend the night together: I must turn down the bed, let him inspect me, and sleep naked. Inspect me? That should be interesting.

We are having dinner tonight. I’m quite looking forward to it. He is picking me up at 6:30. Sushi!

We have had a few scenes together thus far. He is very heavy handed. It’s what inspired my cane post. I’ll definitely post more on my new experiences soon. It’s been very fun 🙂