Posts Tagged ‘rant’

that one guy

January 12, 2017


So… that one guy? I’ve been trying to break up with him for a few weeks now. We’ll have a conversation about how I’m not feeling it and that I’m ready to call it quits and he jumps into begging mode. Seriously, last Sunday we had a 3 hour argument that I ended with, “I can’t have this conversation anymore. I need to break for food.”

To say that threw me off the first time (the whole begging thing) would be an understatement. Most of the time I was with this guy I could barely tell if he liked me. In fact, I asked him that several times in the beginning saying things like, “If you aren’t feeling this then we can walk away now. No hard feelings.” But he assured me each time he just had a slightly different time line than i was use to. Okay. Fine. But… 6 months later and I still feel like an after thought most days? Yes. He did jump in pretty fiercely after the hospital thing, but that’s plain and simple because he had nothing else going on. As soon as something popped up, he was gone. And asking if he could come over past 10pm… I don’t like that. Gimme more than bedtime. It’s not acceptable to make plans with me only to break them because the guys are watching the game. Go watch the game. That’s not the problem. But don’t break plans with me to do it. That sucks.

Anyway… didn’t expect him to hold on. He’s in some kind of denial. But even now the only thing we talk about when he texts (which are becoming fewer and fewer so maybe he is catching on) is him having a head cold and how his drainage is causing a tummy ache and dry heaving…. It’s hard to feel bad when I know he’s being a big weenie. I’ve seen him “sick”. He’s a man-baby. Bet if volley ball season was still on he’d play… but because he’s free then he’s sick. Pfft. Pass.

Mean while… (to be continued)

nothing to see here

January 28, 2016

This is far and above not an interesting topic to read upon. just move along. It’s boring. A long fucking rant that only has to do with me, myself, and I. Seriously, stop.

Okay, fine. But I warned you.

About a year ago I started taking a medication for my migraines. At the time I thought it was the best thing since sliced bread. It worked damn near 100%. My prayers were answered. There were a few side effects… but they seemed to subside a few weeks in.

Fast forward 6 months and I already had to up my dose due to my tolerance build up. This was a fast red flag. My doctor doubled the dose. DOUBLED? I thought… this could be a terrible trend. But he’s the doctor… I went with it. And every day I’m breathing I will always prefer not to have a migraine.

Fast forward 6 more months and my anxiety is through the roof. I can’t sleep. Still no migraines (thank god. knock on wood.) but my blood pressure shot up! And now I’m worried about my heart stopping… which in case you couldn’t guess just makes the anxiety and blood pressure worse.

The worst symptom is this insomnia. This increases my appetite and in doing so, my weight. Which makes me resent myself which increases my anxiety and blood pressure even more! all kinds of vicious cycles developing here.

So I get on the ole interwebs and research how the fuck I’m going to wean myself. Turns out that all the symptoms I am experiencing are symptoms of withdrawal. WHAT.


Which means, my body needs an increased dose just for me to be sane! I’m withdrawing and I haven’t even stopped yet!

Then I read that it could take up to 6 months to have all the withdrawals hammered out.

What have I done to myself?!

rant of the day: SME

November 10, 2015

When subject matter experts just make fun of the non-experts thoughts, plans, or ideas related to the subject matter at hand…..

A subject matter expert isn’t an expert so they can sit on a thrown and people watch the masses only to make fun of how much of an expert they aren’t. You are a fucking expert so you can impart your knowledge. So you can make suggestions. So you can better the engine you work on. ugh…. I hate that I’m considered one of these because the current ones are such jackasses.

Rant over.

The ex update

September 8, 2014

I was enjoying a nice relaxing Sunday morning when a I received a text from a friend. Why people feel like I need ex updates I will never understand. As is necessary in the current age in which we live I defriended him on all social medias for the sole purpose of NOT being informed on his daily activities. Of course it had to do with another girl. Which, lets be honest, is more specifically why I defriended him! A tiny little blond was hugged up on him… “happy birthday!” “Thanks, LOVE YOU!” Shoot me now. The conversation with my well-intentioned, oblivious friend didn’t last long. Of course it didn’t end without one comment from her about dating the next hottest guy I meet and posting pics… oh good grief! 

There are so many things wrong here. Where to begin… 

1)  Serious, why do you feel the need to update me?? Don’t you realize I’ve gone out of my way to not be updated! Way out of my way! 

2) A new girl? Saying “I love you”? SHHHOOOOT MMMEEEE! He still texts me at midnight and asks me to come over. He still tells me he wants us to work. Ugh. DO NOT say those things and asks those things of me if there are other females in your life. Just… no! 

3) When will, if ever, I not be effected by hearing about him (or seeing him) with other girls. I don’t want him. I’m done. But, damn, that hit hard. Did not like that at all! 

4) She wants me to what? Date the next hottest guy… first of all, sure thing, hott guys willing to date me are a dime a dozen! Not. Second, is that really a game you think i’d play??? Oh no. My ex is an extremely amazing guy… I can’t compete with that. I will lose that competition in the first round! He will do anything for anyone. I wouldn’t. I’m way more selfish with my time and my opinions to be the person to completely put myself on the back burner for someone…. And I realize that sounds awesome on the surface, but it turns into him losing himself – and really the whole relationship won’t work if he continues to deny himself… It’s not real. It’s completely… impossible to perpetuate. So in the beginning yes… perfection to find a guy like that… but in the end you have to ask… “who are you?” He’ll be there without an answer. I’ll be me. 🙂 maybe i won’t lose. But it won’t be because of our next significant others. 

Rant over… for now. Hope you have a great week! Thanks for reading.