Posts Tagged ‘play session’

The build up

June 9, 2017

I get on my knees and lower my chin. His text said he’d be here at 5:03… Just like him to be so precise… And you know what? It’ll be exactly 5:03. It’ 5:01 now.

2 minutes seems like an eternity. This longing comes from deep inside of me. It builds and builds something I can’t quite put into words.

Today has been on the calendar for weeks. I hate that I only see him once a month. But it’s how it must be…. Because of Her. I hate that there’s a her. Truth be told, there’s a him too. But… anyway.

I feel the ground under my knees. It gets harder every second. But I like it. It’s for him. He deserves it. It deserves all my sacrifice. All the pain. All the passion.

I wish I could see my phone. Has it been a minute yet? 2?

My body jolts when I hear a car door close. His car door. My chest is filling up. It’s going to explode!

Panic sets in for a second… Am I ready? Am I perfect? hair, braided. Clothes, off. Toys, cleaned. Room, ready for play time. Candles, lit. Yes, it’s perfect.

The door knob rattled matching her own nerves. I force myself to keep my chin and eyes down. Hands in lap. Chest bear save for the necklace he bought me last year on our 3 year anniversary.

The door opens. Slowly. Always slowly. He knows whats happening inside of me and he loves to exploit that. Jerk. Ugh… but I love it. I can’t wait to feel his hand on my chin. Permission to me to look into those beautiful endless eyes.

He takes his time, as usual. He slowly undresses. And stands over me. I don’t know how long this goes on. My body aches so badly for his touch. But I’d just give anything to just look up at him! But I dare not sneak a peak before permission is granted. It’s ok. It makes it better. And he knows it. Oh how he loves what he does to me. Can you imagine having power over someone without even touching them? It’s haunting.

“Baby girl.” He whispers… The huskiness in his voice makes it almost inaudible at that decibel… but I know exactly what he said. I hear it in my sleep sometimes. I wake up in tears when I realize he’s not holding me. But he’s here now.

Finally! I tremble as his hand guides my gaze up to his. It never ceases to amaze me how powerful this moment is after all these years. I couldn’t live knowing this moment would never happen again. This. Like gravity… a law of physics in my life. Always, with no exception pulling me in.

As I match his gaze he gets bigger and bigger. Maybe I do hold some power after all. He taps the side of my face with his growing cock. I follow the cue and devour it. I’m instantly wet. And he instantly snaps to full size. My insides want so much. The desire within me is growing in volume that it consumes my ears… Of course in reality all that is escaping from me are the quiet moans as I take him deep into my mouth. I grab both sides of his hips with my two hands. It came out a little more forceful than I expected it to. I steal a glance at his face to see if he noticed. He most definitely did! He leans down. With one even motion he cups my elbows and lifts me off my knees and throws me onto the bed.

I let out a giggle as a wicked grin appears on his face.

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catharsis

October 19, 2015

I had a really emotional week. Family things going on. Personal things going on. It was effecting my sleep. My mood. Everything. Through the week Sir kept asking if he should come over. Scene with me. I told him not to worry about it. I didn’t want to disturb his schedule. I could handle things. It’s what I do. Not well, but I do it alone. I didn’t realize how stubborn I was being. Here’s a man who wanted to help. He wanted to take care of me. He wanted to at least be the shoulder I cried on… And I just kept pushing that away all week.

Our date was scheduled for Saturday night. I was ready. Something about the week tho… being so thrown off. I knew tears would be close. I did my normal primp prep. Pedicure, nails, eyebrows, shave, shower, lotion… It’s my calming ritual.

Before the play date began, we had been invited to a vetting. This is where members of certain kink groups meet you and basically pass you off in order to be invited to play parties. I was nervous. But it went well. It was intimidating, but I didn’t ever feel overwhelmed. The leaders of the group were great. There was something so inviting and charming about those ladies. I spoke to one who told me she was a sub… my jaw dropped (in my head; physically I stayed composed). She was so vibrant. Commanding. Calming. Surely she was all Domme. Nope. I spoke with Sir about this later. Subs go through phases. The right Dom pulls out the confidence of his sub. Strengthens her. I totally see that. I get it. What a beautiful thought!

Anyway, back at my apartment I put Sammie in his kennel (he doesn’t like when mommy is choked). I went into the bedroom. He stripped me down, but this time he left my bra and panties on. He strapped my ankles to a spreader bar (a first for me). He put a braided leather belt around my neck. He cuffed my hands together. He threw me on the bed and told me how he wanted me. It was impossible to make it to the position he asked for with a spreader bar between my legs. Whoever this was made for was SURELY taller than me. I finally wiggled into place. I’m sure it wasn’t sexy AT ALL. He might have evil-y giggled once. Maybe not. I was really concentrating.

He has two other belts that he takes turns using on me. I love belts. The thud to sting ratio is my favorite. He doesn’t neglect that belt around my neck either. He uses that quite freely. I love it. Breath play: it’s the quickest way to wet in my world. He knows it. He didn’t use this much when we first played. In fact I wondered if he’d ever get to it. But some people – they don’t touch it. It’s dangerous. It’s oxygen. It’s life. I get it. Once he realized it’s effect on me tho… He couldn’t ignore it.

I don’t know how long this went on. But something inside me was being pulled to the surface. I couldn’t have held it back if my life depended on it. I just started sobbing. Not a small sniffle. But huge sobs. Body shaking sobs. Again, not my sexiest night. He was at my side in half a second. I immediately made sure he knew it wasn’t from the pain. But he was a step ahead of me. He coached me through the whole release. Telling me to let it go. Whispering to me the entire time. Stroking my hair. I couldn’t remember when the spreader bar was taken off… was it before or after the break down? But I was still face down, but now my knees were curled under me. I had a hold of his arm. He just kept coaching me through. It was… the most complete catharsis. Not sure how he knew before I did. How does he know things? But this was his intention. He was pushing me over the edge I was so stubbornly clinging to.