Posts Tagged ‘family time’

more what?

December 20, 2016

While me and my little brother were talking about life and love and happiness over a few beers he said a few things to me that got me thinking.

He told me I deserved so much more than what I was grasping for in life. He specifically meant my love life. He’s met my current guy and while he doesn’t disapprove he thinks that I can do better.

I deserve more.

I keep thinking about this lately.

And do I? Do I deserve more? Why? Why does anyone deserve anything? What is more? I can’t stop thinking about this. Frankly, I don’t agree with him. Not that I think that I don’t have enough now. I just don’t know that I agree that I’m 1) deserving of more or 2) in need of more. It’s one thing if I’m being treated badly or if I’m being ignored. But what is this more he speaks of? Am I missing something I don’t even realize? Should my self worth reflect what I have or what I *should* have?

I don’t have answers today. Just questions… hardly questions… just thoughts. I’ve always been good at not needing answers.

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thanksgiving 2016

December 20, 2016

So thanksgiving was coming up and I was really dreading it. It’s just not the same since 1) I’ve been working for a retail company and 2) my parent’s split up. Our family doesn’t have a home base anymore, ya know? So plans don’t come together well at all.

My mom decided to take her vacation with her fiance during that week because last year was so disastrous. I don’t blame her one bit. My 2 oldest brothers and my sister have their families that they can build plans around. And my dad? He always crashes some poor neighbor’s thanksgiving. That left me and my little brother all orphaned.

On top of that I was on-call and I only got that Thursday off from work. Nothing seemed to be shaping up into a traditional holiday. I was sad over it.

Less than a week to thanksgiving I talk to my sister and find out she plans on being in my area so that her son’s father can have him for the week. This means she’d be staying with me for several days! So I called my little brother and asked if he’d like to do a meal at my place.

My place = 1 bedroom apartment with no place for even a dining room table. But that didn’t mean we couldn’t all hang out and eat awkwardly off my coffee table together!

The night before my sister tells me she’s running a day late… You heard me. Lol… a full day late. Instead of coming in Wednesday afternoon she had to take advantage of an opportunity I don’t blame her for. So she’ll be there around 3pm on Thanksgiving day. Anyway, Wednesday night my little brother comes over to help cook.

Actually he ended up being the bartender while I baked and prepped. It was a lot of fun. After we consumed a few eggnog cocktails he wanted to show off his new car. Responsible order, I know… But the cocktails were so involved we didn’t have much before heading out. SWEAR! As we round a few blocks we decide to go to my favorite and closest bar. We had a few beers.

Me and my little brother have gotten so close in the last 3 years. We are both in the same area. We’ve both had a few hard times. I guess that makes for some good bonding fodder. We talk about really in depth things. Family things. Significant other things. Past things. Future things. And doing it over a few beers is ALWAYS more productive when you just kind of ramble and offshoot from every topic that keeps rolling in. I had the best time.

The next day he came over early. Cooked me breakfast. And we spent the rest of the day watching movies, drinking beer, cooking, and anticipating my sister’s (and her 4 month old’s) arrival.

Over all it was a fantastic few days. I didn’t realize how much fun it was being the host of big holiday. As in, being in charge of the cooking. It was so much fun! We didn’t do a whole lot of traditional stuff, but it was special none-the-less.

I’m glad I could offer my siblings a place to come through a holiday that use to be so full of such a solid family. It’s not like it use to be… but I see new traditions forming for the future 🙂

niece and nephew weekend!

March 21, 2016

I had a great weekend with my sister and her kids. They came to stay with me for a few days.

My niece and nephew are pretty fun to be around… I mean, they do get stuck in their technology, but when they pull their heads out and hit the pause button they are pretty cool!

My nephew is such a smart kid. He’s very intellectual. He enjoys reading and learning. He holds pretty darn good conversations. I know he is 10 and he is suppose to, but I’m always surprised at how easily we can talk. He is a pretty quiet guy tho. Very internal. I can tell he wades through a hefty amount of anxiety. Reminds me of me.

My 3 year old niece is just a shark. She’s sharp and independent. She will NOT do what she doesn’t want. But she still has that little kid side with the cute squeaky voice and petite frame and oodles of excitement. She’s absolutely beautiful.

Me and my sister have so much fun together. I love the way our personalities flow together. We laugh at nothing and everything. I wish we lived closer together. I mean at 5 and half hours away, I guess we finally ARE closer! But we humans aren’t ever satisfied, are we?

She is 28 weeks pregnant. She got to talking about this next one. How she can’t wait to know what his/her personality will be like. What a fun thing to think about. This new life being its own being. Having it’s own set of genetic rules. I can’t wait either!

While I absolutely loved the weekend with them… I’m pretty sure those little guys got me sick! I’ve got that sore throat, swollen tongue, super tired feeling going on today. This happens nearly every time! Totally worth it. I mean, there’s a chance it’s just allergies… the weather in Arkansas is friggin ridiculous right now… but… my nephew was pretty sniffly…

twins, nieces, and dreams

June 18, 2015

My sister is in town!!! And while I have moments that I DESPERATELY miss her, the biggest joy of her visits as of the last few years is getting to spend time with my niece. She is a tea cup sized me. AND SO ADORABLE (if I do say so myself)!

Me and my sister are fraternal twins. And her daughter is my replica. I always wanted a little girl that looks like me.

The fact that my sister had her is truly bitter/sweet. First and foremost I got a mini me without actually having to destroy any part of my body to bring her into the world. Sorry, sis, but thanks for doing me this solid! But secondly, I wasn’t the one that got to feel her flutters and kicks from within and selfishly/selflessly hoard her all to myself for 9 months…

Maybe one day I’ll have a tea cup sized twin cousin for this little gal. Or now that I think on it, maybe my new dream is to have a tea cup sized human that looks like my twin sis 🙂