Posts Tagged ‘dad’

dad

September 14, 2016

I just had a conversation with my dad. And It’s past 9pm… so I know to expect the reasonable slur to his voice and the (when sober) uncharacteristic emotion in his voice.

For the longest time in life his mantra was education first. Get a good job. Work hard. Make money. Money money money. He’s a lawyer. And while he isn’t the lawyer that became a judge or became some partner in a big city place, he still does well for himself in small town Arkansas.

Since him and my mom got a divorce a few years ago his mantra changed. And I don’t know if it was the divorce, or him becoming a grandfather, or what, but now its simply do what makes you happy.

What?

Dad? Is that you? As I was finally accepting that my dad must now be finally happy in life and how long has he been miserable and oh my god maybe I need to find more happiness, I find out that he isn’t happy at all right now.

I thought he was living it up. He’s kind of the dirty old man that likes to party and pick up ladies and hell, I guess if you got it you got it even at 65….

He is stuck. And he doesn’t know what to do about it. Funny. Earlier today I sent a message to my sister about how much less stressed we would be if we did what we wanted and what was best for us and what we needed versus being railroaded and taken advantage of. How much better off would we be if we back boned up and spoke up for ourselves. We couldn’t have possibly gotten that trait from our father? No freaking way….

My mom. She was always the one that tip toed all situations. She was the passive aggressive champion of the household. Right?

All this talk about being happy. I guess its coming from a place of wishful thinking more than what he is actually living. I feel bad for him. I was sad to hear it. My heart did something funny… kind of like sympathy… when he said it. I didn’t realize I had that left in me for him since my parents’ divorce.

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dad’s accident

September 22, 2015
My dad broke his ankle. This, in itself, is not report worthy. I mean… not big enough to make it to my blog anyway… Not that my blog has such high standards. LOL. Anyway… here’s what win’s it’s noteworthy prize:
  • he “fell off his recliner”
  • broke it in two places
  • had to have surgery to put three pins in to put his ankle back together
  • spent two nights in the hospital (he announced this to us via facebook message :-/… really? can a daughter get a freakin phone call?)
  • has to be in a wheel chair for 6 weeks
  • doc says he probably has osteoporosis (and sincerely this one does have me worried)
WHAT?!?!
  1. Fell out of your recliner? This doesn’t even sound physically possible. How many laws of physics did you have to break for that one?
  2. His girlfriend is a recovering narcotics addict. Having her in the same house as someone that needs those pills for pain at the moment is scary. What will her relapse do to my dad? Of course this is trusting that she is, in fact, currently sober.
  3. My dad is a heavy vodka abuser. My guess is he was being stupid in a drunken moment, tripped, and didn’t wanna admit it was alcohol related. But why not just say he tripped? A Half truth is smarter than a complete lie. right? <– learned this one from my ex- husband…. (merp)
  4. If he does have osteoporosis then he might have in fact fell out of his recliner and I should feel like a terrible daughter for assuming the worst…
But when his lineup for the last 4 years is beyond ridiculous, it makes everything he says pretty untrustworthy. To list a few:
  • had an affair with someone that it is illegal (maybe not illegal, but definitely punishable by law – wait, that does make it illegal?) to have a relationship with (a lawyer and a bail bondsman (woman) is a no-no)
  • got a divorce from my mom because of said affair AFTER she gave him TWO chances to cut things off with this woman
  • not paying my mom alimony (a woman who spent her entire adult life raising us 5 kids, managing the household, and making sure he ALWAYS had a meal before he even had to ask)
  • dated a woman that is YOUNGER THAN ME (27, while he is 64). She went to prison for pharmaceutical fraud, lost custody of her kids because of an addiction, and a client of my father’s (another no-no relationship)!
  • let said young girlfriend not only move in (after she got out of prison) but let her be the secretary in his law practice!!
  • been in at least 3 plus car wrecks due to being an idiot and either texting or drinking (or both! to be fair, this is just a theory – but over 3 wrecks in such a short time is suspicious)
  • getting let go of two part time jobs because of said drinking – in doing so losing medical insurance and a set income. This just means he has his private practice only for his income which should be fine, but scares him a lot for obvious reasons.
As you can see it’s easy to assume the worst.
Geez. Now I’m exhausted.
I. Can’t. Even.