Posts Tagged ‘breath play’

vanilla w/ sprinkles

December 14, 2015

With A…

Drinking with his friends: A’s best friend and his wife. Drinks, drinks, and more drinks! With sides of flat bread and conversation.

Flogging: A pillow case becoming a make shift flogger. Not painful, but oh-so sensual!

Christmas errands: Fighting the mall crowd. ‘Bows out. People watching. Making fun of the masses.

Breath play: with that same pillow case. This will always be my favorite. Rules laid out, safety gestures defined.  I disappear to heaven.

Baking and decorating cookies: He was actually better at decorating than me. I’m far from good at anything creative, but I LOVE to bake. It was nice, too, that he didn’t mind helping. He is so sweet and open and I just can’t say enough about how great A is.

Bruises: “Sorry about that.” um…. DON’T BE! I LOVE souvenirs. Being away from each other through the week makes bruises a nice reminder. His claim on me even when we aren’t in the same town. Not his intentions but of course that’s how I like to feel it.

Grocery shopping: I love when the mundane becomes so enjoyable. Random hugs and squeezes and kisses  while pushing a cart down the baking aisle. I’m sorry to all those that have issues with PDA, but I’m never turning down those random touches for anything.

Happy Monday, all!

belt or leash?

October 23, 2015

There’s are particular fetish I don’t quite understand. I mean… there’s a lot of fucked up shit out there… that I’m pretty easily not gonna judge. And when I say fucked up… I don’t mean any more fucked up than me. I’d never NOT put myself in this category… especially when it comes to sexual preferences.

But the whole pet thing. I don’t get it. Tails. Leashes. Its… not sexy to me. I know, I know. to each his own. Most people don’t go all water fall over being choked and whipped either… :-\ I am quite open minded because of this.

So… with all this being said here’s what happened one night.

Sir is getting in the habit of putting a belt around my neck during most scenes. I’m very happy about this as it took a while for him to incorporate breath play at all.

But last time he took the end of the belt and said, “Let’s go to the bedroom.” So I do what I would normally do. I stand up and take a step. He immediately reminds me I haven’t been told to get up. So… I’m on all fours. Crawling. Towards the bedroom. Him holding the end of the belt… the leash. A LEASH!? What just happened. I’m internally battling this. I don’t like this. I’m sure it’s written on my face. When i’m in scene I turn off my filters. I react. It’s the only time I get to do this. This is why I LOVE BDSM. I get to drop all the facades. I am hating this moment. He slows down. Great, now I have to be led like a dog for an even longer time. Then he pulls the belt tighter… and lower. and he puts his lips to my ear while putting extra pressure on my neck. He says things to me. I don’t remember them. I just know that I’m being turned on. And I’m still hating it. And I stop hating it. And I’m his pet… What. just. happened?!

He commanded me to get on the bed and let go of the leash. The leash instantly morphs back into a belt. I’m his sub again.

I can’t stop thinking about this moment. I’m confused the most because it’s all of a sudden not that weird. And I get it.

fun for a sadist

October 21, 2015

In the middle of a movie he takes off his belt. Sets it next to him on my couch.

For most men when the belt comes off it’s like a woman taking off her bra. It’s the release of a day. It’s getting cozy and comfy and retreating to the blissful end of day.

When a sadist takes off his belt… It’s never about comfy and cozy. It’s methodical. You can bet that belt choice was made before leaving the house with knowledge of its dual purpose.

So, Sir takes off his belt and sets it aside. I take note. But my attention span isn’t that great. I get lost in the movie within minutes. I lay my head on his lap, which I don’t normally do, but it felt right.

He starts to pet me. I love being pet. It’s a turn on. It’s calming. It’s one of those things that always make me want more. I always find myself silently begging when I’m being pet. Hair, down my side, hips…. all my favorite spots over and over again. He loops his belt around my neck. Pulled taught, but not adding pressure yet. But this is enough for me to go from silent begging to a complete change in breathing. I know he notices that. It’s why he did it. Nothing is on accident. The petting continued.

I don’t remember if we finished the movie. He switches from petting to pulling the belt tight around my neck. I’m in sensory heaven. I love that feeling in my head when the oxygen is cut off. My whole body reacts. I’m instantly desperate for everything. I just want more. Of anything.

He stands me up. He always takes his time taking off my clothes. I’m getting use to this part of the routine. Its the only constant from scene to scene. He pulls my shirt off. Takes off my bra. The belt still hanging from my neck. He unzips my jeans. Pushes them down. I step out of them. He puts my hands in cuffs… and connects those cuffs to a spreader bar laying across the back of my neck. He takes the hanging belt and fastens it to the bar too. Clamps my nipples. Shoves my face into the couch, forcing my knees to the ground.

His phone starts ringing… I hate reality checks during scenes. hate hate hate. I wanna stay gone. But then I realize he is the one making the call… on speaker! Wait… VIDEO CALL??? I am pulled out of this scene hard!

It’s his best friend… she’s also a sub… not his. “I thought you forgot about me!?” She was in bed waiting on his call. ha. They planned a chit chat in the middle of our scene?? Talk about a sadist. He’s laughing at me. I haven’t met this girl yet. So… hello lady… yes, these are nipple clamps. and yeah, my forehead is stuck to the couch… Don’t mind this pretty little belt on my neck… Glad I could meet you and you could see me naked all in the same moment. To be fair, she pulls out a boob too. Why thank you. She’s actually really cute. Dark hair. Dark eyes. She didn’t really acknowledge the peculiar state I was in. Gotta love fellow kinksters.

He randomly cuts off my oxygen as they continue the conversation – making sure to aim the camera at my face… as I can’t help but react – because it’s what I do when my oxygen is being played with.

Sometimes a scene is sexy…. and sometimes it’s just sadist-y.


October 19, 2015

I had a really emotional week. Family things going on. Personal things going on. It was effecting my sleep. My mood. Everything. Through the week Sir kept asking if he should come over. Scene with me. I told him not to worry about it. I didn’t want to disturb his schedule. I could handle things. It’s what I do. Not well, but I do it alone. I didn’t realize how stubborn I was being. Here’s a man who wanted to help. He wanted to take care of me. He wanted to at least be the shoulder I cried on… And I just kept pushing that away all week.

Our date was scheduled for Saturday night. I was ready. Something about the week tho… being so thrown off. I knew tears would be close. I did my normal primp prep. Pedicure, nails, eyebrows, shave, shower, lotion… It’s my calming ritual.

Before the play date began, we had been invited to a vetting. This is where members of certain kink groups meet you and basically pass you off in order to be invited to play parties. I was nervous. But it went well. It was intimidating, but I didn’t ever feel overwhelmed. The leaders of the group were great. There was something so inviting and charming about those ladies. I spoke to one who told me she was a sub… my jaw dropped (in my head; physically I stayed composed). She was so vibrant. Commanding. Calming. Surely she was all Domme. Nope. I spoke with Sir about this later. Subs go through phases. The right Dom pulls out the confidence of his sub. Strengthens her. I totally see that. I get it. What a beautiful thought!

Anyway, back at my apartment I put Sammie in his kennel (he doesn’t like when mommy is choked). I went into the bedroom. He stripped me down, but this time he left my bra and panties on. He strapped my ankles to a spreader bar (a first for me). He put a braided leather belt around my neck. He cuffed my hands together. He threw me on the bed and told me how he wanted me. It was impossible to make it to the position he asked for with a spreader bar between my legs. Whoever this was made for was SURELY taller than me. I finally wiggled into place. I’m sure it wasn’t sexy AT ALL. He might have evil-y giggled once. Maybe not. I was really concentrating.

He has two other belts that he takes turns using on me. I love belts. The thud to sting ratio is my favorite. He doesn’t neglect that belt around my neck either. He uses that quite freely. I love it. Breath play: it’s the quickest way to wet in my world. He knows it. He didn’t use this much when we first played. In fact I wondered if he’d ever get to it. But some people – they don’t touch it. It’s dangerous. It’s oxygen. It’s life. I get it. Once he realized it’s effect on me tho… He couldn’t ignore it.

I don’t know how long this went on. But something inside me was being pulled to the surface. I couldn’t have held it back if my life depended on it. I just started sobbing. Not a small sniffle. But huge sobs. Body shaking sobs. Again, not my sexiest night. He was at my side in half a second. I immediately made sure he knew it wasn’t from the pain. But he was a step ahead of me. He coached me through the whole release. Telling me to let it go. Whispering to me the entire time. Stroking my hair. I couldn’t remember when the spreader bar was taken off… was it before or after the break down? But I was still face down, but now my knees were curled under me. I had a hold of his arm. He just kept coaching me through. It was… the most complete catharsis. Not sure how he knew before I did. How does he know things? But this was his intention. He was pushing me over the edge I was so stubbornly clinging to.