Posts Tagged ‘blush’

crush

December 19, 2017

The day I met you my rubric for a man changed. At least in the physical sense. You became the yard stick I used subconsciously on every single man I met since. Every time you looked at me I blushed. I didn’t even attempt using words in your presence for years. Then one day at a party you picked me up. You hoisted me from the ground with ease. My breath caught, and I prayed you didn’t notice. I was so embarrassed. Later that night you kissed me. Twice. After that I tried speaking to you. I couldn’t pull full sentences together coherently. I couldn’t tell if you noticed or not. I didn’t try often. Then one day a few years later you became my coach. I saw you every single day. Words came a little easier by the day. But mostly I didn’t need them. You have a way of using enough for at least two. I don’t mind this. I’m a good listener. I found that about 85% of the conversation we were having I could hang with easily. The last 15%, tho, really scare me. I don’t know that we have much in common. Besides the time we share at the gym. I over analyze the shit out of that 15%. I’ve put myself out there two times. Both times you were dating someone. I probably won’t do that again. This whole situation is so different for me. I usually have no problem approaching my crushes, making myself known, and typically making it happen. I don’t scare easily, and I’m not shy about my feelings. But with you I can’t bring myself to do it in my normal bold fashion. You scare me. Where do my words go when I’m around you?

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