Archive for the ‘office humor’ Category

what’s that smell?

April 8, 2016

Woke up late.

Rolled out of bed.

Took my pup out.

Threw my hair in a messy bun… like, not the sexy kind. It’s greasy and gross.

But I put on my skinny jeans and nude wedges… any time you can throw the word nude in your outfit you’re golden, right? I mean… I’m sure the men I work with would agree.

I completely thought this thru. They won’t notice the smell of my un-showered self if they can see the outline of my ass, right?

That’s not controversial or out of line with my feminist views of women at the office at all.

hallway timing

March 21, 2016

The hallways at work are breeding grounds for awkward exchanges. There’s this hallway timing… If you miss it, it’s just flat out uncomfortable. People asking how you are as they walk passed. Not stopping for an answer.

There’s a hallway grin that doesn’t rear its ugly head except for the hallways.

To make eye contact or not to make eye contact.

How far away is the most ideal for “hey how are you today?” “fine tha…” already passed you.

Then there’s the cute guy that you’ve never seen before. Do you say hey really enthusiastically or do you look down or straight ahead? How are you coming across? You can’t mumble anything because there is no time to say huh and correct yourself. So the quit wit is put away in fear of misunderstanding. I always mumble or speak too softly to trust myself in these moments.

Seems like the only people who have it down are the old grandpa guys that say “how are you, young lady?!” “Great! Thank you. And ho…” Gone. moment over. Maybe one day I’ll have the old man hallway timing. This may take a life time to figure out.