Trey… again

Me and trey decided to give the friends with benefits another go. The problem last time was that he wanted more… and I didn’t.

I love hanging with trey. I cannot emphasize this enough! And the sex is REALLY  good. Like, next level good… not sure how to explain it. We just fit so well in bed. And he touches me so well.

He’s so funny. And fun. We have a great time together.

I know what you are wondering here. Why not keep him???!

There is just that thing that is missing. I know me. I know that I need someone that will keep my attention even when someone with big biceps walks into a room. It sounds superficial… I just know that trey can’t keep my attention. It has nothing to do with him and his looks. Its just something is missing. That thing that makes someone more than a friend… ya know? The non-definable shit. Whatever. IDK I’m frustrated too, ok?

SO we decided to give it a go again.

And it was amazing. It really was. Sex was even better. Hanging out was even better. I even invited him to join me with some friends and stuff to hang out in public. Wha????

Then he started sighing while looking at me after sex. And i had a feeling that he was holding back them feels. He tried his damnedest to not say anything. But eventually he asked me to re-evaluate our relationship. He felt we were getting closer and that things might have changed with me. But… If i’m honest… while i do believe we did get closer, i don’t see our future any different than I saw it before.

😦 I had to break it off with him. I was just hurting him. And i don’t want to do that. I miss him tho. I like when he’s in my life. Wish we could find a better middle ground that wouldn’t make me the most selfish person on the planet.

I hope he finds someone awesome soon so i don’t feel tempted to pull him back in.

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