Archive for October, 2017

mirror work continued

October 23, 2017

I’ve been doing this, but it’s clear getting it down in my blog is just not in the cards! lol

I really really like this. I’m just not sure my clients will get into it. If it’s hard for me to stick to I don’t trust they will! Ha.

But this positive energy of love is so so good. It’s not only self love but it’s encouraging something else… whats the word… um… karmic love energy? I guess what I mean is my favorite part is the meditation. And it’s always about sending out love away from yourself. The idea there is that you send out love and it comes back to you MAGNIFIED! It’s so fun walking into a space and getting into the habit of sending out love through the room. I find that my favorite place is doing it at the gym because ITS SO BIG and has so many bodies. 🙂

So I’m still doing it. Not every day. But still trucking on. And I love it. Its just a good reminder to cast away negative and actively seek positive. And when It comes to body image specifically that is an invaluable habit to practice and cultivate.

Day 2: making your mirror your friend

October 13, 2017

SO apparently the 21 day mirror work is going to take longer than 21 days. I did this a few days ago… but didn’t journal. and Definitely didn’t do day 3 yet. So, lets record day 2.

Making your mirror your friend.

Today the exercise is looking into the mirror, breathing, looking at yourself, and saying “I love you. I really really love you”. It says to say it 100 times thru the day. I think I got to like 13. :-/

Journaling exercise:

  1. What do you want that you aren’t getting?
  2. when you were growing up, what were the rules about deserving? Did you always have to earn in order to deserve? were things taken away from you when you did wrong?
    1. this one is interesting to answer. I was 1 of 5 kids. We deserved nothing. HAHA. Seriously. When we got something out of the ordinary it was a treat. I don’t think this effected me negatively except maybe that it makes question number one hard to answer. Like… what do you want that you aren’t getting? like… what else is there? lol see! That’s why its blank.
  3. Do you feel that you deserve to live? have joy?
    1. Deserve? Have i earned life and joy? I have no friggin clue! I don’t know about deserve… but living and having joy are huge gifts from the universe that I will gladly accept to their full extent!

Heart thought for the day: I am deserving.

Oh… lol I guess the answer is I DO deserve things. lol SO my little brother was right the last time we spoke about all the wonderful :-/ guys I’ve been choosing for myself.

Mediation thought of the day: envision yourself standing in a safe place and saying that I am open and receptive – declaring what i want and what i don’t want. See myself whole and happy and healthy at peace and filled with love. Let the love go thru me and out of me and back to me.

I did this a few days ago… Every room I stepped into I sent out love. I loved it. The gym is a big room to fill! lol

We can choose to circle ourselves with hate or love in this world… why on god’s green earth would we choose hate.

“See the world becoming an incredible circle of love. And so it is.”

personal boundaries

October 10, 2017

I’ve been thinking a lot about this lately. You know how when you pray for patience you should expect the opportunity to practice it instead of just being given good patience magically? Well as soon as I put this intention about my boundaries out into the universe the universe handed me a boatload of opportunities to stick up for myself. 

I had a guy that abasically assaulted me years ago call me. Ok… So that one was easy… But the universe knew I needed a softball to get my feet wet. Then another guy that use to be a playmate asked to scene with me, and I was able to shut him down because of his current relationship status. I wasn’t interested in being the chick on the side even if it was just to scene with. 

All those were just practice for this one tho… My father. Specifically his girlfriend. A girl that is younger than me and hooked on drugs. I’m the only one out of all my siblings that will even allow this girl in my current place of residency. They came over and stayed the night. She ended up stealing some of my clothes. There’s a huge long back story to all this that I don’t have the energy to go into, but I finally did it. I cut my father off. Well, until he ditches the addict. I know I know.  You might say the heart wants what it wants, but my father does not want this chick. If she made him happy this would be a different story. He keeps telling me he feels trapped. And she’s abusive. But that’s all part of that long back story. It’s unhealthy and I can no longer be in support of it. And stealing my clothes… Ugh. Maybe I’ll go in to more detail at another time. Sigh. 

Anyway. Somehow the universe gave me a fuse just short enough to be able to build some much needed walls. 

It’s interesting to me… I’m so gracious with people. And for the most part I love this about me. It makes me unique. It’s my super power and why I’m such a good friend. But lately I’ve just been railroaded because of it. Gracious to a fucking fault. Which is sad because like I said I really like this about me. Usually. I know there’s a balance… I need to take this gift I have and make it a better art form. Sprinkle in some discernment. And make sure I am kept safe while being the best me possible.

Mirror work – Day 1

October 10, 2017

Image resultOkay, so I’ve decided to start this today. Day 1!

Day 1 Loving Yourself:

Day 1 exercise is to stand in front of the mirror and look into your eyes. Take a deep breath, and say ” I want to like you. I want to really learn to love you. Let’s go for it and really have some fun.”  Then take a deep breath and say “I’m learning to really like you. I’m learning to really love you.” Keep taking deep breaths and keep looking into your eyes. “I’m willing to learn to love you, michelle. I’m willing to learn to love you.” Throughout the day as you catch yourself in a reflection any where you repeat all this. Even if you have to do it silently in public.

Let me pause and do that….

Besides feeling a bit on the crazy side by talking to myself to myself in a mirror…. witnessing first hand how crazy I kind of sort of look and definitely feel… It wasn’t too bad. Truth is I don’t hate myself at all. I’m in a really good place. I’m taking care of me and I’m quite literally the healthiest and strongest I’ve ever been. But I do know that I can benefit from going even deeper with my relationship to my reflection. I’m very very excited about this.

The power is within you: journal exercise for day 1

1: How did you feel after your morning exercise for day 1? I felt more silly than anything.

2: 6 hours later – how’d it go…. any thoughts?…. Did you believe yourself? I noticed that i really like the color of my eyes. It’s funny the things you don’t take time to appreciate. Yeah, i believe it for sure.

3. Keep track of changes in behavior. did the exercise become easier or harder? I didn’t notice a whole lot of change. I think it got easier.

4. what did i learn today? Hm… I don’t know yet. But there is something interesting about looking into your own eyes. Can’t quite name it yet.

Heart thought for the day: I am open and receptive [to the fact that i deserve good].

Meditation for the day:

I listened to this. It mainly talks about love. But it begins with a statement that i really really liked. First it states that we all deserve to be happy and healthy and loved. Then it says something that took off a lot of pressure that i didn’t even realize was there. It said that I don’t have to believe it. I don’t even have to accept it. Wow. Maybe I believe it less than I thought. I will say it was nice to know its okay not to believe it…. YET. I’m going to go out today and shower love on EVERYTHING. Including myself 🙂

Day 1 done. I’m really looking forward to the rest of this! I think it’ll be a great tool for me and for my clients down the road.