things i dislike…

  • When compliments are fished for. I don’t like stroking egos for the sake of an ego being stroked. I like to give compliments where they are needed and when they are evoked from me implicitly. I want to be inspired so strongly that it pops out! Or to lift someone’s spirit with one. But if I, for one second, think that this compliment is only going to inflate an already inflated head, I won’t do it. I will keep it. Even if its a noteworthy and an earned compliment. I keep it.
  • Carrying a clip board… there is no way to not look like a douche bag carrying one of those. It’s like mustaches… there’s no way to make it look good. I don’t care who you are (I’m talkin to you Tom Sellek, just because I wouldn’t recognize you without it doesn’t mean its doing anything to improve your look). A clip board says you think you are important. A clipboard says I’m about to boss you around. It says I’ve gotta boss so many people around that I can’t even memorize the list so see? I carry it on me.
  • Dreams about being pregnant… Or deciding on pregnancy… I wake up sad. And its probably not even literally about having a baby. It’s something less intuitive or whatever, right? Whatever.
  • Being unmotivated. Just get up and go, gah! I’m a type A person. So, my happy place is crossing off a check list and getting shit done. That alone gives me sooooo many feel goods… So being unmotivated makes me have the same amount of feels, but they are bad feels. I hate feeling the bad feels. Get up and go!
  • When money and/or distance is a pain point. Money and distance just shouldn’t be a factor in decisions or matters of the heart.
  • Not being able to say certain things because I don’t want to hurt feelings. This runs my verbal life. I put words on a pedal-stool because I can’t take them back. They are the most permanent thing on this planet. So usually if I’m in doubt, I keep them to myself, but… It’s not always healthy.
  • When someone says I’m “too nice”. Bitch please! This is a choice! I EFFING WANT TO BE NICE! BACK OFF! Just because I make you feel bad because you make all your decisions based on only your own wants and desires doesn’t mean you need to pull me into your selfish game.
  • When a friend chooses an ugly bridesmaid’s dress. A lot of us make fun of this. We joke about a bride being the best looking in the wedding party, and going as far as sabotaging the whole bridesmaid’s look. THIS IS REAL! I am in a wedding in a few weeks. My friend, the bride, is one of these woman. She has insecurities that run so deep she doesn’t even know about them. But they manifest themselves in ways like picking a bridesmaid’s dress that puffs out hips in a round marshmallow way instead of a curvy sexy way. I hate to think these decisions weren’t made subconsciously but I know her… and she thought about it. This is the same chick that made me turn around to go get my wedding ring that I accidentally left on the sink before going on a night on the town (when I was married and she wasn’t engaged). I said, “Oh shoot, I forgot my ring.” We are a mile from my house, not far, but super inconvenient. “You HAVE to turn around. Nu uh, you can’t go downtown without that.” She didn’t want me to even slightly appear available next to her. Maybe I should be flattered by this one, but I just find it odd and manipulating. True story. Anyway, back to the dress. I have a philosophy that I live by. I have gone against this time and time again, and each time I go against it I hate myself ALL day long. Philosophy: Never leave the house until you feel cute in what you are wearing. This really effects my self esteem. Its not worth saving time on settling for an outfit. I need to think I look cute. I don’t care who else thinks it. *I* need to think this. But in this dress I feel huge and frumpy. I’ll be the one at the wedding curled up (possibly under a table) with a stolen bottle of champagne. No, not the girl with the glass… the one next to her chugging from the bottle. (Wow, I really ranted about that one. Moving right along.)
  • When what-ifs take up even the most minuscule moment of my cognitive space. What-ifs take everything good out of the present. They are simply torture. I think If I was ever being questioned by the CIA you’d just have to put me in a room with all my what-ifs. It won’t be long that I’ll say anything and beg to be out of that room. I love now. And what-ifs just try to make me question everything, even all the things going right.
  • When people don’t yield when entering round-abouts. There’s one right outside of my apartment complex. Laying on my horn didn’t become a natural reflex till I started having to do this round-about multiple times a day. I honk like a New Yorker now. (Is that a thing?)
  • Being on-call on the weekends. Does this need any more explaining?? That’s me this weekend, btw.

Most of these bullet points merit a full blog post. But for the sake of positivity I’m going to get all the negative stuff down and out of the way. And because they are in my brain NOW and need OUT!

Happy Friday all!

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2 Responses to “things i dislike…”

  1. randomthoughtsofareformedparamour Says:

    lol, yes, compulsive over honking is a New York thing

  2. wedding weekend | Lot of ramblings from little ole me Says:

    […] did it. I wore that darn dress for my friend’s wedding and had a friggin blast last […]

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