the dress (reunion part 1)

Remember when Sir T took me into the mall the very first day I met him and had me try on a few dresses?? Well, a few weeks later I went back and bought that cute little black dress for my upcoming reunion. And truth be told I was super nervous to actually wear this. It’s definitely the tightest dress I’ve ever worn. I’ve lost 15 pounds this summer, for a total of 50 pounds in the past 6.5 years. And it is taking quite a while for my eyes to catch up to my scale… actually I believe I’ll never see myself accurately in a mirror. So, I stressed about this dress that is showing off my new figure, having to put my trust in others to tell me I look good in it. And to convince myself that my eyes are lying to me. My insecurity is a bastard intent on me hating myself.

Anyway, I tried on this dress every day for a week before my 10 year high school reunion in hopes I would somehow see it right. I took pics. I shared pics with my closest girl friends. They all told me the same thing. Do it. Wear it. You look fantastic. One of my really close friends told me not to pack a second option. She knows me well!

Me and my twin and a few other girls from my class that were bunking together for the reunion were all getting ready. I let myself doubt for just a few more minutes. I put on the dress (and hello! Duh, I put on a girdle too!) and looked in the mirror one last time. I told myself that once I hit that hotel hallway I was NOT going to say one more negative thing about myself. And I didn’t. And after the second beer I didn’t even think about it! Two is always my magic number 🙂

We had a small class and even less people showed up. But all my friends from high school that I would’ve considered close (at least back then) were there! And I had a blast! The girls couldn’t believe I’d lost so much weight. One guy told me he didn’t even recognize me. That all felt really good. I was enjoying myself.

It’s crazy to see all the guys I graduated with being dads and husbands now. Reunions will never be the same now that facebook exists. We don’t have to ask questions like how many kids do you have or what are you doing these days. We see most people on a day to day basis… posting pics of kids and life events. But still seeing them all, it hit me… all these real adults in the room. I mean, they aren’t fooling me. I now know what it feels like to be an adult… and its not very adult feeling at all! But still! these guys that use to shoot the shit in high school are now providing for new human beings in this world. It’s cool!

But also, thanks to facebook (and partly due to small town rumors), I didn’t have to go around saying “I’m divorced” to all 41 of my classmates all night. I never once said it in a serious way. I made a joke that half was a piggy back off my sister’s joke with our cab driver (and Fred, our cab driver, could quite possibly be a blog post all its own) and THAT WAS IT! Very nice surprise.

As I looked around I couldn’t help but notice one guy in particular. It’s another crazy thing to have someone pop out at you so strongly when you’ve known them since you were 11. And they have never struck you in any way good or bad before. He’s been completely neutral to me for my whole life.

Now, I simply cannot go on with this blog until I share what happened that night. I’ve kept this in for a full week and a couple days now and I’m about to burst with words!!! Stay tuned!

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2 Responses to “the dress (reunion part 1)”

  1. Andy (reunion part 2) | Lot of ramblings from little ole me Says:

    […] This is how I deal « the dress (reunion part 1) […]

  2. lingerie shopping | Lot of ramblings from little ole me Says:

    […] Sir: Did I not do good with the dress? […]

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