two halves

I started going to church again. I even found a bible study that starts next week… And while I’m excited about connecting with this group for the study, I’m also wondering how much of myself I’ll have to check at the door when I show up.

I am finding it difficult to reconcile the two halves of me. The sweet-christian-girl and the willing-submissive. I suppose we all do that tho… When we walk through those doors we always take all our shit with us, right? You don’t need a doctor when you aren’t sick.

Curious to see how this goes. And how long it’ll take me to get to the point of sleepless, anxiety laden nights where I plead with God to let me keep all parts of me. Surely there’s a way to do this, right? Surely he won’t ask this of me. I say this as I cover the ears of one half of me… and lie to the other.

Is it a coincidence that everything a sub looks for in a dom, others seek out from God? Trust, safety, a connection, someone to adore you, someone to worship, someone whose feet to sit beside, someone who you hold so much love and respect for you would do absolutely anything for without hesitation?

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One Response to “two halves”

  1. Lot of ramblings from little ole me Says:

    […] I am a bit conflicted with my two halves, but I’m going to jump into the deep end of both pools and see what happens. Is it a war? […]

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