Is it Friday yet??

It’s as if my mind knew the kind of week it was going to be. It was as if something in me knew I’d have a terrible week before I had reason to actually call it a terrible week.

Monday came with more than its usual dread. I could’ve cried at the drop of a hat for no reason at all. Just this layer of emotion that I couldn’t explain. I wasn’t on my period. I wasn’t about to be on my period. It’s one of those rare weeks I was suppose to be hormonally normal.

Tuesday I felt less like crying but still I was unenthused about anything. Which is a lot different from my normal happy, peppy self. My best friend came over for some sushi delivery and hookah and Grey’s anatomy on Netflix. I was almost feeling normal with such a good night.

Then my reason for bad week showed up. A break up text from a guy I’d been seeing for the past month. A month and 4 days to be exact. In my mind it was a good month. A happy month. An almost too easy of a month. 10 messages came thru before I could wrap my mind around it. Room spinning, Denny dying on Grey’s anatomy, nicotine from the hookah didn’t help.

The messages went thru the normal listing of my good qualities, and well wishes for my life, and the its-me-not-you… standard stuff. It sucked. No one likes being rejected… especially not blind sided rejection.

Two hours later he’s calling me. “Can I take back everything I said?” “Um… which part? my good qualities or the dumping?” Fair question I thought. The conversation was more than a little confusing.

Wednesday, thru the course of the day I realizing he’s back tracking on his take back. So at this point he’s halfway took back the original take back…. don’t worry if you can’t keep up here… There just aren’t any answers. And no rationale should be atempted in this moment… thank the good lord I recognize this.

THe rest of the week followed suit. So he continues to text and communicate with me… I avoid initiating anything because I don’t know if I’m single or not at this point. Just kind of waiting on a decision from him. Or maybe he’s waiting on me to say “fuck this shit” and throw up my dueces. I DON’T KNOW!

For the most part I’m staying calm and patient. I’m not in a hurry. I don’t have reason to be I guess. I know I don’t deserve this wishy washy stuff. But also its hard to walk away from a good month.

But to cherry top the rest of my week I dropped my phone in the toilet, trash dripped some sort of liquid while I was taking it out on my way to work – already running late…. Had to take my pup to get his yearly shots… hard to watch, but I don’t trust him enough to not be there… making sure they muzzle before poking at him.

Thursday I had to go to his roommates birthday party that I basically planned. (I knew his roommate prior to our relationship.) That was difficult. But I made it thru with only the minimal stabbing comments on our “relationship” status.

I’m really glad my weekend consists of going to see a friend and getting out of town. I’m going to put my limbo status on hold for the weekend and just enjoy the company of an old friend.



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One Response to “Is it Friday yet??”

  1. looking back at R | Lot of ramblings from little ole me Says:

    […] few months before M and I started dating I was dating this guy. I didn’t speak about him other than our first date… and a little […]

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