“moving on”

I found a blog yesterday.

https://wordpress.com/read/blog/id/87994862/

Its a bereavement blog. A guy lost his wife in February of this year. Its about his grief Journey. Of course, I HAD to go back to the beginning. I’m finally getting caught up. I can not imagine having someone ripped from me in this life that i was so intwined with. First off, I can’t imagine being so intwined. Divorcing someone is one thing… you kind of untwine then divorce… but… to lose someone while still in the grips of “in love”? I can’t fathom. She was 43. They had been married a year… and only known each other for 2 and half years.

His whole blog is about what “moving on” might mean. How one can fine a “new normal” and “get on” with life. How does one keep living when their reason for living is no more. There is NO relief for this man’s heart break. Every second of every day. pain pain pain.

Are we suppose to do this in relationships? Make a person your universe? make them your everything? I knwo that i personally can’t handle that kind of pressure. but is that just because i’ve never been there? Is this what it takes? I can’t imagine.

I see (very few) couples where they are two halves of a whole. They really do function better together. Not just better, but they keep each other tuned up. Keep each other moving. Their significant other is the reason for every single action they decide to take.

Am I too selfish to find this kind of love in my life time? Is this love for every one? Is this just a certain type of personality? Maybe all these questions mean I haven’t found “the one”. If that is real… and just me voicing doubt right there is my point. can’t imagine.

I would like that. I think. I don’t know. Could I handle that pressure. Can one person on this planet shift my priorities so much so that I become the non-selfish person that i’m not today?

I’m truly just rambling today. Thoughts?

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3 Responses to ““moving on””

  1. The Master Says:

    You are correct. Pain is the course of everyday. Is there a person that will do that for you? I never thought there was, for me. Then, I met her in my darkest hour (up to then). I was 43, when we met. It took me THAT long just to find her. And to have her ripped from my life in such a short time is devastating, to say the least. Words can’t really cover the feeling. I’m in the darkest place I could ever be in, and I’m no stranger to “darkness.” However, this is the darkest time I have ever known. For the first month, I barely ate. I lost 22 pounds from then, to now (Dr. visit, this morning).

    To answer your question about “Make a person your universe,” the answer is yes. If it’s the right person, the pressure will be minimal. I dated many women, over the years and never connected, like this. Sure, part of me thinks I would be in a better place, had we not met, but that is just untrue. She made me a better person. I was self-centered to the 10th degree, before we met. She made me the center of her universe, which showed me that it was possible to put someone else before myself. We were two halves of the whole. I never had that, before.

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