A secret exposed

I have that itch to blog. To let thoughts flow from my finger tips, but I don’t know what to say. Lets go with it.

A secret I haven’t told anyone: Because it’s embarrassing at f*ck. So, a guy I was dating back in the fall (there is a blog dedicated to his craziness) came over after work…. Lets step back for a second. He worked the second shift and sometimes 7 days a week. Falcon works their technicians to the bone. It really isn’t fair. They make promises to clients they can’t possibly keep unless they do so. Anyway, we had to be flexible if we wanted to see each other ever. He was scheduled to be off work by midnight… but this always bled into the 2 o’clock hour.

Now, I have to be at my desk in the morning at 7am. Not sure why I let this routine become what it did…. but he’d come over after his shift. I’d leave the door unlocked. He’d come in we’d get some skin on skin for the rest of the night. Both of us too tired for anything else. But satisfied to just to be in the same room. Anyway, one of these nights he came in with a 6 pack. I found this extremely odd. Where do you get a six pack at 2am? and why are you half way thru it by the time you get here? This should have been RED FLAG RED FLAG RED FLAG! But i’m the ever trusting naive hopeful. He crawled in bed. Spooned to sleep. This was a friday night so we actually got to sleep in.

It was morning… the light coming in thru the curtains. Got my guy next to me. More time to sleep. Pretty perfect scene. But then I hear something…. Sounds like someone turned on the facet. What? Wait… HOLY SHIT! This dude is peeing in MY bed! WTF. NOT OKAY! How old is he?!?!?! He doesn’t budge. He doesn’t notice. He doesn’t even register anything going on right now. I’m embarrassed for him. I have no idea what to do. NONE. AND HE’S STILL GOING. HOLY SHIT!

I’m a non-confrontational, avoid embarrassment even if it means death, kind of person. I am at a complete loss. All I know is that I am not staying in this bed. My poor, poor previously unblemished bed!

I hop up. I leave him there. I grab my book and head to the couch. I’m less than reading and basically just praying this guy will wake up and know how to difuse this inevitably embarrassing moment of dealing with this issue. Yes, it’s an issue. Do I sound dramatic right now? because I assure you, I was more freaking out in my head than i can protray thru this blog.

When he FINALLY emerges from my bedroom I’m slightly relieved and majorly bracing myself. “I’m just going to come out and say it.” OH THANK GOD! Even tho part of me hoped he get up and leave and i could take care of it without a conversation about it. What is wrong with me?! “This has happened before.” WHAT?!!??!?! “I know how to clean it.” He then proceeds to use all my baking soda and uses the vacuum. It’s just one of those… do i help him clean up HIS pee off MY bed? I let him do his thing knowing I’ll do whatever he is doing plus 5 other remedies (my brother did this til he was 12) at least 3 more times.

Come to find out a few months later after we are no longer dating he has checked himself into rehab. I didn’t realize he was a drunk. There were signs, and I was completely oblivious to them.

We met for coffee last week (as friends, i have ZERO intention of starting things back up with this guy). He just received his 90 sobriety pin. Good for him.

Sigh… secret out. It’s even stressful retelling this story. I know, drama queen much?! Can’t help it. It hit me hard. So unprepared for this dating scene. Geez. I don’t even care if this is overreacting.



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