always something

So, I went back home this weekend for a baby shower for my brother and his wife. It was fun. Lots of old friends to hug and catch up with. It was at my old church… Saw a lot of people from my old congregation… and these people were old when i was 11… so I was almost surprised to see a few up and about and as energetic as ever.

I have made peace with the fact that I’m not celebrating my own child being born into this world. I know it’ll be a long time before I get to have my turn at that. But what i didn’t brace myself for, what i had no idea to expect was cluing people in on the fact that I am divorced. I had no idea people were  still in the dark about it. I did not brace myself to combat the question “Where’s your hubby today?”

There’s always something connecting me to him still. One day I hope this isn’t the case. Unexpectedly hard. I have come so far, yet, there’s still a journey I am on. And I feel like a whole person. I feel like I’ve rediscovered myself. I feel good about life… but there’s this shadow looming…. One day i hope to have conquered this.

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3 Responses to “always something”

  1. Writingofpassage Says:

    There will come a day when ties to him a far and few between 🙂

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