My 50 cents on 50 Shades

Okay, let me first get a few things out of the way.

The only experience I have with this trilogy is giving up on the first book (because I found it incredibly boring and NOT from my lack of sex drive) and watching the first movie twice.
Also, women want a man to take control. Okay. Sure. Yes. we wanna be picked up and thrown around. Maybe even experiment with a hand cuff or blind fold or two. We do NOT like it when our significant other (or lesser) asks us if we wanna have sex. Excuse me? What? No. Not in the mood. Ahaha of course we aren’t in the mood. we aren’t naturally ready to go like men are. We take a bit of time. A bit of an investment, if you will. Turn us on! Don’t ask us permission to penetrate us. That shit is lazy.  (Of course there are exceptions to this. Some women do have a higher sex drive. And their are things that turn us on without actually being seduced in the traditional sense.) Guys, if you think asking permission for sex is the start of a good night, it’s time to relearn a few things! And if she does say yes she won’t enjoy it for at least the initial contact. That was an obligatory “yes”. But just because we know we want to be taken charge of and we want to be seduced with a little force doesn’t mean every woman is into the kinky stuff as much as they’d like to believe as this “50 Shades” fad takes over. BUT I guarantee that the first nipple clamp will have any desperate house wife begging for some vanilla sex and maybe a cop on the scene. Just saying.
Now, if you’ve stuck with me that long you’ve made it to the actual topic.
<stepping on soap box; commencing rant>
The biggest fear I have about this movie is that it’ll give the BDSM scene a bad rap! I just made myself laugh with that last statement. Isn’t’ that all this scene is? A bad kinky rap? That most people are repulsed by. That most people have a negative opinion about? And that is BEFORE you talk to those people about disrespect of woman and how this is abuse… blah blah blah. I thought I had lots to say on this subject. I have a very passionate opinion here. But as I brainstormed for this blog I realized I only have one thing in particular I want to clear up about this whole movie. and about now what the main stream media is doing with BDSM image.
What BDSM isn’t:
It isn’t about sacrifice. A d/s relationship doesn’t work if both parties aren’t IN LOVE with this whole scene. The Dom has to get off on being in control whether that involves inflicting pain or not. and the Sub has to get off on being controlled and making her Dom happy whether that involves some masochism or not! both parties are 100 percent satisfied by anything that goes on in a bondage scene. If this isn’t the case then someone is being abused. Period. If this isn’t mutually enjoyed then it shouldn’t be at all. This whole thing is for pleasure. For all parties. The entire time.
A sub wants to make her master happy. It’s a turn on to make her dom feel proud her by doing what he asks. He is in turn turned on by her obedience and it turns into this delectable cycle of “yes sir”/”good girl”. (or yes ma’am/good boy…)
It isn’t about total disregard for one’s preferences. Anna just wanted a normal boyfriend relationship with this guy. She even said almost immediately, “What if i don’t want any part of THAT?” She wanted him so badly that she was willing to give in to his demands at least in part. My fear would be with the limits that are set up ahead of time. If he doesn’t give her preferences weight in some areas in life, why would he think he needs to respect them in the “play room”? This part of the whole thing…. ugh! NOT COOL!
It isn’t about total disrespect for her space/opinions/property. There are people out there in the scene that take part in Total Power Exchange – this includes every aspect of their life. Again this is completely mutual. Every party involved gets equal pleasure out of it. But for Christian to just sell her car and buy a new one…? Seriously? She could possibly have an opinion on this. Did it even cross his mind to even ask for maybe a color preference of the car?! Big fat NOPE! And getting her a lap top? and clothes? She might have an opinion!!!!!!!!!!! And in fact, in each of these instances Anna voices her displeasure in all of it. This is not what The Scene is about. If both parties aren’t completely trusting and there isn’t a shit ton of respect there… I can guarantee its not fun for anyone.
And one more thing, I hear the nay-sayers talk about how even the music from this movie is getting too much attention and taking the charts just because the 50 Shades craze. Well, I have one thing to say to those people. Ellie Goulding fucking rocks. The music crew for the movie just did a great job. Plain and simple. It didn’t need the movie to be awesome music. Had to be said.
Sigh… I suppose that is all. Had to defend the subject. Stepping off my soap box now. Have a good one!

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One Response to “My 50 cents on 50 Shades”

  1. looking back at R | Lot of ramblings from little ole me Says:

    […] with my girlfriends – 50 Shades of Gray. Now, I think that all of us in the life style have a soapbox especially made for this series, but I held my tongue because it’s hard not to get worked up […]

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