couple of Tinder constants

26 year old guys are the hottest!!!!! Drool!!!!! but also the group most likely just looking for a booty call… and sending gym pics. Thanks for the bicep shot… but… No, I don’t want to meet up. Feel free to snap chat that sexy self tho! Grrr.

3 out of 5 guys over 30 are at least 30 pounds over their most current picture. Not a deal breaker, but why!?

There are the super nice guys – these guys get lost in the Tinder shuffle because they aren’t exciting enough. They don’t stand out. There the shade of beige amongst the rainbow. Kind of feel bad for this assessment… they are probably the take-home-to-mommy sort of guys.

There’s the overly sexually advances… these get dropped too. Or the crudiest of crude humor… ew. no. go away.

The flirtation guy that keeps it in bounds… these are the meet ups! Not gentlemen, but not NOT gentlemen… These guys get me! THese are the first dates, second dates, and beyond guys.

THe anti-conversationalist… The conversation goes like this:

Him: Hey.

Me: Hi!

Him: Whats up?

Me: Just thinking about whether I want wine, beer, or water!! Decisions!!! (or something equally as silly/lame/enthusiastic but not so generic that the conversation should stop) You?

Him: Nothing much. <—- convo killer. This is when the conversation steers toward “what do you do for a living?” and basically it’s DOA. They might get a meet up, though, but only because there’s always that hope that they just aren’t the texting type. These are the guys that ask for a meet up in the first few messages… they don’t f*ck around… “Lets meet for a drink”… so i know if i can move on with life or not. haha. Um… okay? but… “sure, why not!?” I mean hey! I’m on Tinder for a reason!

There are the pick up line guys… These are friend-zoned immediately. My favorite line, and I got this on two separate ocassions: You are like my apendix. I don’t know anything about you, but I want to take you out. HA!! I once had a 15 minute conversation about ground beef waiting on the punch line that never came. I was stuck in the convo like a moth to a flame. It was sooooo bad I just couldn’t end it. I wanted to see how truly awful it could become. I still chit chat with that guy on facebook at times. He’ll send me random pick up lines just for fun. I would really like to keep this guy around as a friend… but I often forget the sole intent of Tinder when i’ve done the friendzoning and they are still whipping out their best lines. Oh, that’s not just for my entertainment??? my bad! Tip toe quietly and cautiously out the back door.

You will find yourself swiping because of the cute kiddo in a princess dress with the biggest blue eyes (which ironically is probably from her mom and so you swipe right based on his ex??? uhh… I’m weird). Or swiping right for that big ole pup in the second picture! Who’s a good boy!??! You are, yes you are!!! I bet he’s a good cuddler! LOL. Geez. I’m more desperate than I thought!

You’ll get the overt booty call guys that start the convo with “Say you wanna bang.” True story. And then the covert booty call guys. “Hey, do you want to watch some netflix tonight?” RED ALERT! I’m not saying it’s the worst thing to get sucked into, but only if you are both on the same page with it. And safe about it! We’re all grown ups here!

The married guy… Looking for a side chick. At least you are honest about it?? This is the guy with one pic that is not of him… but a great description enough to get the swipe right. Sorry, guy… No can do. Why does this even happen? It’s time to have a talk with the misses. If the sex is bad. if its non existent? I just feel another, more mutually accepted solution can be found here.

The couple looking for a third… I find this completely interesting. They are either looking for a third to add to the relationship or a third for some temporary fun. Hey, if thats what you are into, I won’t judge that! These people are the most honest people on Tinder! Props for that. It’s just not for me!

Love at first swipe happens… draw dropping, gimme the rest of your life profiles… sigh… I want. these are never matches… 😦 So… you Tinder on.

Despite the reputation of Tinder people really do read descriptions. I’ve had a description pull the decision from a left to right on numerous ocassions!

Just some of the Tinder ramblings I promised 🙂 Thanks for reading!

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2 Responses to “couple of Tinder constants”

  1. GreenEyes -x- Says:

    Love this! Love it or hate it, Tinder is entertajning thats for sure! 😉

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