Archive for January, 2015

couple of Tinder constants

January 27, 2015

26 year old guys are the hottest!!!!! Drool!!!!! but also the group most likely just looking for a booty call… and sending gym pics. Thanks for the bicep shot… but… No, I don’t want to meet up. Feel free to snap chat that sexy self tho! Grrr.

3 out of 5 guys over 30 are at least 30 pounds over their most current picture. Not a deal breaker, but why!?

There are the super nice guys – these guys get lost in the Tinder shuffle because they aren’t exciting enough. They don’t stand out. There the shade of beige amongst the rainbow. Kind of feel bad for this assessment… they are probably the take-home-to-mommy sort of guys.

There’s the overly sexually advances… these get dropped too. Or the crudiest of crude humor… ew. no. go away.

The flirtation guy that keeps it in bounds… these are the meet ups! Not gentlemen, but not NOT gentlemen… These guys get me! THese are the first dates, second dates, and beyond guys.

THe anti-conversationalist… The conversation goes like this:

Him: Hey.

Me: Hi!

Him: Whats up?

Me: Just thinking about whether I want wine, beer, or water!! Decisions!!! (or something equally as silly/lame/enthusiastic but not so generic that the conversation should stop) You?

Him: Nothing much. <—- convo killer. This is when the conversation steers toward “what do you do for a living?” and basically it’s DOA. They might get a meet up, though, but only because there’s always that hope that they just aren’t the texting type. These are the guys that ask for a meet up in the first few messages… they don’t f*ck around… “Lets meet for a drink”… so i know if i can move on with life or not. haha. Um… okay? but… “sure, why not!?” I mean hey! I’m on Tinder for a reason!

There are the pick up line guys… These are friend-zoned immediately. My favorite line, and I got this on two separate ocassions: You are like my apendix. I don’t know anything about you, but I want to take you out. HA!! I once had a 15 minute conversation about ground beef waiting on the punch line that never came. I was stuck in the convo like a moth to a flame. It was sooooo bad I just couldn’t end it. I wanted to see how truly awful it could become. I still chit chat with that guy on facebook at times. He’ll send me random pick up lines just for fun. I would really like to keep this guy around as a friend… but I often forget the sole intent of Tinder when i’ve done the friendzoning and they are still whipping out their best lines. Oh, that’s not just for my entertainment??? my bad! Tip toe quietly and cautiously out the back door.

You will find yourself swiping because of the cute kiddo in a princess dress with the biggest blue eyes (which ironically is probably from her mom and so you swipe right based on his ex??? uhh… I’m weird). Or swiping right for that big ole pup in the second picture! Who’s a good boy!??! You are, yes you are!!! I bet he’s a good cuddler! LOL. Geez. I’m more desperate than I thought!

You’ll get the overt booty call guys that start the convo with “Say you wanna bang.” True story. And then the covert booty call guys. “Hey, do you want to watch some netflix tonight?” RED ALERT! I’m not saying it’s the worst thing to get sucked into, but only if you are both on the same page with it. And safe about it! We’re all grown ups here!

The married guy… Looking for a side chick. At least you are honest about it?? This is the guy with one pic that is not of him… but a great description enough to get the swipe right. Sorry, guy… No can do. Why does this even happen? It’s time to have a talk with the misses. If the sex is bad. if its non existent? I just feel another, more mutually accepted solution can be found here.

The couple looking for a third… I find this completely interesting. They are either looking for a third to add to the relationship or a third for some temporary fun. Hey, if thats what you are into, I won’t judge that! These people are the most honest people on Tinder! Props for that. It’s just not for me!

Love at first swipe happens… draw dropping, gimme the rest of your life profiles… sigh… I want. these are never matches… 😦 So… you Tinder on.

Despite the reputation of Tinder people really do read descriptions. I’ve had a description pull the decision from a left to right on numerous ocassions!

Just some of the Tinder ramblings I promised πŸ™‚ Thanks for reading!

New Years Resolutions

January 27, 2015

This is almost a month late: I spent my new years eve high fiving one of my best friends while watching Clueless and sipping on champagne at my apartment. I was on-call thru the that particular week. Although it would’ve been fun getting shmammered (one of my new favorite words – go on, give it a try!) and dancing it up somewhere on NYE we still had a great chilled time…

Did I mention we stopped at the closest sushi restaurant for take out, along with the closest pub for some buffalo dip, and the closest liquor store for beer and champagne? We viced it up! πŸ™‚

It was nice not waking up with a hangover on the first day of the year. Can’t remember the last time I did this. High school???

This years resolutions…
1) I have to take steps to getting out of this place of employment. By December I need my resume circulating big time. E.V.E.R.Y.W.H.E.R.E. This place will be somewhat hard to leave but it’s toxic to be in the same environment as my ex and his ex mistress… Just need to do this for my soul and sanity. No matter how well I get along with the ex… Something has got to give.

2)I want to be less hard on myself for my eating habits. I wanna continue being healthy and learning new ways to be healthier. Keep going to the gym. But lose the guilt associated with all of it. Do well, do bad, and continue to pursue better… But stop beating myself up for the shitty choices I make health-wise.

HAPPY NEW YEARS, EVERYONE! Β It’s been a month, guys! Time to take another look at those vows for the year and see if you’re on track. Check in. Re calibrate.


January 26, 2015


I believe affection is the out pouring of feelings. The feelings that exist. Not the feelings you want to exist or just becuase you are bored or because of convenience.

I don’t believe in words like I believe in affection. You can say you don’t want this… You can give all the verbal push back you want. But when you grab me, when you place your hand on my side… when you kiss my head… that’s what I believe in. So fuck your words. I’m not buying. I’ll listen to the subtleties of your actions.

another cuddle sesh post

January 25, 2015

It never ceases to amaze me how appealing the thought of cuddling is with absolute strangers. When on Tinder and talking to guys I’ve never met before… if any of them talked about holding me… i’m swooning. What?? I don’t know this person. I don’t know if i’ll even be okay with most of their mannerisms enough to even stand them… and here i am wishing to be in their arms on the couch/bed watching some netflix. First of all, this is code to them. But to me its a dream! I just want to be touched! but thats why they know it works. Bitches. Manipulative bitches. LOL. Me and other women must not be too different if guys use this and it works? ugh whatever. I’m not saying that I follow thru with all the cuddle threats, but I just wanted to talk about how odd we are as humans to be instantly drawn to this activity with people we know about 150 characters worth. Humans are weird.

Is this need something that we should be substituting with something a bit (mentally) healthier? Or is this just how we are. We are all searching for someone to be in the arms of… and humans just don’t stop till that happens… and some times its taken slightly out of context to more of a temporary fix… but ultimately… is this all this is about? Or am I addicted to something I need rehab from?

First dates and butterflies (or lack thereof)

January 21, 2015

I’ve been on a lot of first dates lately (thank you, Tinder). And there have been some good moments. Neh, great moments! But over all they all lack something. I want to be infatuated. I want to be lost in one thought. I want to be sucked in. I want my heart, chest, and tummy to leap out of my body!

Two reasons I joined tinder. A crazy ass guy I was getting close to showed his full on crazy! TWICE! And this is within the first 2 months of knowing the guy. The level of crazy he showed was definitely a year three kind of crazy.

Second reason: My crush (hopefully more on this subject to come) was dating. and not dating me. He knew I was into him, but he made his no-dating-co-worker policy more than known… so I backed off.

So….. Tinder. I went on 10 first dates and several second and third dates, hell! and a 7th date all in 1 month! These guys only proved entertainment for the moment. None were crazy (or at least hid their crazy appropriately for the first date).

The guys I saw again or deemed worthy to see again were nothing heart stopping. And I want that. I want that so badly. But then I have this voice in the back of my mind saying that’s a feeling only reserved for the 17 year old females falling in love for the first time. 😦 I had that already… maybe I’m not in line for that one anymore.

Tinder is not the way to figure this out. At least not for me. Its just confusing. I went from decent first date to mediocre, nothing-bad-enough-to-say-no-to-a-third-date second date to what-am-i-even-doing-here third date. And a string of non-feelings. Now I’m stuck with a guy (or guys!) that I don’t know how to be mean enough to let go of. Or at least, they didn’t take no the first time. You know, when I did it nicely. Pride sparingly. Just a ton of stress for me. I’m a wuss.

I want the butterflies. And I think I’m going to have to keep searching for that. But another way. Tinder is a great distraction and even better for entertainment. But I definitely would’ve done it differently. Keep people a little farther than i did. lots more thoughts here…. LOTS. and I’ll probably get to it soon.

That’s all for now.