The family and the ex

This subject is becoming weird to me. First of all, me and my ex get along just fine. I mean, yes, I find him annoying most moments when I think about him and the latest and not-so-greatest things he has done, but we are more than amicable. I could sit down to a meal with him and actually enjoy myself. 

That being said, can I, should I, be okay with my family hanging out with him too? I can’t stand the thought of my brothers taking a trip with him this summer to go watch a cardinals game in St. Louis together. And I hate the fact that my dad still talks about going and watching movies on “our” home theater with him and not thinking twice about my feelings. And the fact that my mom is taking him car shopping to help her pick out a good vehicle. If I can hang with him? Should I be okay with them doing it too? Would it be batshit crazy to not let them, when I see him a lot? (I work with him still, btw. So some of it isn’t a choice.) I don’t know. I don’t hang out with him much at all. I just can tolerate it. So is it acceptable for me to ask them to cut ties? I find that to be hard to do. I have never been one to dictate other’s relationships… (of course, that is what landed me in this divorced situation in the first place, but I digress.)

I’m just trying to navigate this family and ex situation. I find it extremely manipulative that he still wants to be around my family. But maybe it isn’t so malicious. I always did have a problem with judging motives too harshly… I’ll figure it out. It’s a weird balancing act, tho, of letting people decide who they want in life versus me being hurt by who they decide to keep in their lives… 

And am I being too lenient? or is my tolerance just right? I just want to be fair aaand feel like my family is mine… not his. anymore… it’s just not so black and white i guess… 


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