Happy being me.

There are certain people that you meet that you instantly want to get to know. When I was about 19 or 20 i met a girl named Laura. She is so happy. And she says the goofiest things. She desn’t filter much. She is very honest. She is vibrant!

I sat back and would observe her. Why was she such a magnet. How does one become like that. I was the girl that filters EVERYTHING that comes out of her mouth. Nothing will accidentally come out without being weighed, measured, and found worthy. And I was hard on myself. So, basically I just didn’t speak. It came across like I was shy. But… I dont’ think I’m particularly shy… I just can’t handle being embarrassed. 

I met a girl a few years later, Her name was Lori… and I felt the same type of draw towards her. I also sat back and observed her. I realized she also said some pretty dumb and goofy and wacky and whiny things. Pretty unfiltered. She was so open to me. and I felt compelled to be open back. 

What I realized as I got older and saw these characteristics that I wanted (and somewhat practiced because, lets be honest, if i don’t practice i might embarrass myself) I discovered a few things. 

These girls were completely accepting of things. Not only did they allow others the grace to say the goofy and dumb things they took the liberty of doing it themselves. I’ve come to label these traits as Non-judgmental and confident

They knew who they were and they were okay with sharing it with the world. And they loved people well. There wasn’t this AHA! moment or anything but thru a few years of watching them and befriending them these are things i realized. I loved mirroring this. I can’t believe what happened when I decided to “practice” these things…. 

I began to LOVE myself. 

I found out that other people loved me too! I mean, they wanted me around. They sought out my company. That is a high honor in my book! 

I found that when you gave people room to be them too, they opened up to you. And to experience people that aren’t afraid to be them…. is pretty awesome too. 

I didn’t know that i had been denying myself so much. I wasn’t being me. I wasn’t letting others see me. I was just depriving me and the world of me. 

I’m still learning to open up and be honest about me… about what i feel and think… but its a work in progress. And I’m happy with the progression thus far. I’m going to say stupid things. and i’m going to be wrong…. but so! People don’t really care. In fact… they may even be grateful for the laugh while loving and respecting you just as much as before you made a fool of yourself. It’s kind of awesome how this works. 

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