When the Ring Comes Off

I am a very average person. I’m average in smarts, in creativeness (possibly below in this department), in looks, in height… the only thing above average on me is my width. 🙂 I’m actually fine with how I look. But i do weigh 175, wear a size 12-15, but too be fair I workout and have a good amount of muscle on me. Hardly any chest to speak of. Nothing about me is “double take”, jaw-dropping, let-me-get-her-number material. 

So imagine my surprise at what happened when the ring came off. Guys came crawling out of the wood work. Now, I’m not saying they are all quality guys here. I just mean, they made their presence known. And wouldn’t you know I found out a few (not-so-fun) facts about guys these days (hopefully these are new developments and not what women have always dealt with!).

“I want to see you some time” doesn’t mean he’ll actually make that happen.

“Let’s go out on Friday night” doesn’t mean that by Friday he won’t have found better options.

The “keepers” come across as too desperate and clingy and you may not know how to handle that without cutting off all ties… which is kind of a shame. But if he can’t find a middle ground, neither can you.

They have the right words for getting what they want… a few of them have absolutely no problem saying what you want to hear to “seal the deal” with no follow thru later…. this one hurts to find out… sorry good guys, these guys absolutely ruin it for you… this is where we pack what is known as baggage. a big bag of distrust and a bad taste in our mouth from that one guy. 

What the hell is wrong with the world????? I mean, I’ve been married for 5 years, and with the same guy since high school. Has this always been the case?!?!? I know i know i sound completely naive but damn! I just didn’t know about all this chaos all my fellow single sisters were going through! 

And i know if you are a guy reading this you are thinking you are the exception…. Most guys say that. And in reality I actually do trust that most guys aren’t this bad… but from what I experienced these last few months you’d never know. It’s almost comical. Aaaaaand I am partly to blame for going to places like bars and expecting more… or should i say, expecting neutral… actually I just never expected any of this! I never expected this attention. Period! BUT! Only took a few guys to undo my naivety. I feel like an ole pro now!

I guess this turned into more of a rant… hmm… sorry! 

Actually I have a date tonight… and for some strange reason I’m not particular excited about it, but like a moth to a flame I HAVE to go towards it. Curiosity – it might be the death of me. BUT I CAN’T HELP IT! Even all my recent experiences won’t shut me down to the world. I forgive easy. Well, to be honest, I just usually flat out forget sooner than forgiveness is necessary. I believe people are good… guys included (even now). So, I carry on… slightly less hopeful, but still open to life experiences. And I give people a lot of wiggle room… I guess that’s me being gracious? But that sounds way more pretentious than what I really mean and how I really feel. I just know that is what is necessary when dealing with me… I need alllllll the grace you are willing to extend. 

Anyway… I better get a quick workout in before the night begins! 

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3 Responses to “When the Ring Comes Off”

  1. Melissa Says:

    Poor Harry (the bug)

  2. newlysingleinpa Says:

    I am in the same situation. Married for 5 years, newly divorced and trying to date. What the hell happened to the dating world in the last few years?! I have no idea what I’m doing.

    • shelldab Says:

      I have to go against my trust first nature! It’s difficult. But this is how baggage starts! Lol good luck to you. Its fun. It is. but good Lord!

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